"Tribal Fest is going on? Oh, I thought that's just how Sebastopol women dress."
Customer, standing in front of a large shelf of seventeen kinds of chocolate bars. "What is it with Whole Foods and their shrines to chocolate?"
Mother, to five year old daughter running around in the store: "Honey, you are spazzing out! Did you not take your GABA this morning?"
Two people chatting in the plaza: "You miss Health and Harmony [fair]? Uh, just go hang out in front of Whole Foods most any weekend. It's Health and Harmony all year 'round."
A woman sitting next to my friend, to no one in particular: "I don't like this gluten-free pizza. It lacks a certain zest. The crust tastes like the cardboard in the back of a yellow pad. I would like to get some pizza that is gluten-full." (soft sigh) "And then this imitation pepperoni...."
Favorite text of recent weeks:
"Yes, we can meet at Community Market. But beware, tribal fest divas abound."
Favorite blog comment of the week:
"The blog about Sebastopol, where the streets are paved with yoga mats."
www.facebook.com/sebastoblog
A humorous blog about Sebastopol encounters
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
The on-line vibe
An employment ad (thanks to Alice for passing this on) for an admin job.
"Strong preference given to those with knowledge of the spiritual path of Tantra, alternative healing practices, or personal growth paths. Experience with people of all sexual preferences or relationship styles can serve well.
We gain more understanding of a person by checking their astrology chart. If you're willing, please send your birthdate, time, and location (all three are necessary to do a chart) with your cover letter."
A group email from a reader who used to belong to a local singles group (name changed to protect the chanter):
"I am troubled that when we are planning activities, in the middle of our efforts Glenn will break out in a chant. It seems to really disrupt the flow of things when he is suddenly intoning something not even in English. I would appreciate if someone would make this clear to Glenn that it's not appropriate to do this in the middle of a planning session. We may be in the Sebastopol community center, but it's not an ashram."
A Sebastopol rental (with a splash of Palo Alto):
$1200 / 500ft² - $1200 yuppie pad for 1 person, must not breath air
(sebastopol)
0BR / sharedBa 500ft, in-law
Hi, we're a rich stuck up family who suddenly can't afford our overpriced home. We would like to rent out our granny unit or attached studio so we don't lose our cushy yuppy lifestyle. This is for a single person only with no pets, some one who doesn't smoke, drink, have guests, with one car that they don't drive and preferably doesn't breath our special Sebastopol air. Yes, it is an overpriced small space but since you will not be having any guests or require any privacy it should all work out for US.
Favorite conversation of the week, at Community Market, my new hot bar of choice:
"What is this?"
"I believe it is non-dairy cheese."
Woman stares. Finally says, "Why would you eat cheese with no dairy in it? That's not cheese."
Friend: "Well, I think it's for people who don't do dairy."
"So, it's fake cheese?" She moves on to the veggie curry.
A third person chimes in, "I think the politically correct term is dairy substitute."
Apparently in Sebastopol political correctness extends beyond people to food and food-imitation items.
www.facebook.com/sebastoblog
"Strong preference given to those with knowledge of the spiritual path of Tantra, alternative healing practices, or personal growth paths. Experience with people of all sexual preferences or relationship styles can serve well.
We gain more understanding of a person by checking their astrology chart. If you're willing, please send your birthdate, time, and location (all three are necessary to do a chart) with your cover letter."
A group email from a reader who used to belong to a local singles group (name changed to protect the chanter):
"I am troubled that when we are planning activities, in the middle of our efforts Glenn will break out in a chant. It seems to really disrupt the flow of things when he is suddenly intoning something not even in English. I would appreciate if someone would make this clear to Glenn that it's not appropriate to do this in the middle of a planning session. We may be in the Sebastopol community center, but it's not an ashram."
A Sebastopol rental (with a splash of Palo Alto):
$1200 / 500ft² - $1200 yuppie pad for 1 person, must not breath air
(sebastopol)
0BR / sharedBa 500ft, in-law
Hi, we're a rich stuck up family who suddenly can't afford our overpriced home. We would like to rent out our granny unit or attached studio so we don't lose our cushy yuppy lifestyle. This is for a single person only with no pets, some one who doesn't smoke, drink, have guests, with one car that they don't drive and preferably doesn't breath our special Sebastopol air. Yes, it is an overpriced small space but since you will not be having any guests or require any privacy it should all work out for US.
Favorite conversation of the week, at Community Market, my new hot bar of choice:
"What is this?"
"I believe it is non-dairy cheese."
Woman stares. Finally says, "Why would you eat cheese with no dairy in it? That's not cheese."
Friend: "Well, I think it's for people who don't do dairy."
"So, it's fake cheese?" She moves on to the veggie curry.
A third person chimes in, "I think the politically correct term is dairy substitute."
Apparently in Sebastopol political correctness extends beyond people to food and food-imitation items.
www.facebook.com/sebastoblog
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