I don't know what the conversation was about up to this point, but I overheard a woman at Slice of Life say to her table-mate: "He was wearing a sweatshirt with an om on it, what do you expect?"
A worker at Rite-Aid told me a guy came in asking her if there was a pawn shop in Sebastopol. She told him she really didn't think there was one around here, maybe in Santa Rosa. "I kid you not, he pulled out a big bag of crystals. He was trying to pawn crystals. I thought, if you're trying to do that, this would be the right downtown to be looking for a pawn shop."
I pulled up behind a truck with a large picture of a vodka bottle, noting it was gluten-free. In all fairness, the truck was probably not from Sebastopol. But I was relieved to know I could buy gluten-free hard alcohol. (A number of years ago I saw an ad for vodka, stating that it was "low carb." The vodka advertisers stay on top of the current trends. Maybe next week I will discover vodka with chia seeds.)
At a small gathering I ended up talking with a friend of a friend who mentioned she had read several of my blog posts. "I thought you must be exaggerating some of these stories until I took my five year-old to a group play date at the park, and couldn't believe how the kids gave him horrified looks when we pulled out 'real' gummy bears. Not organic, fruit-sweetened Whole Foods type of gummies, like the other kiddos had, along with their edamame and kale chips. These were the real deals. One of the kids pointed to them and told my son these were 'very bad for you,' and he wasn't allowed to eat poison."
"How was the workshop?"
"SNAGs galore."
Another friend also told me about S-SNAGs, which means "sexual-spiritual new age guy." A term she and her roommate came up with after attending a tantra retreat.
Sitting in downtown Santa Rosa with a former neighbor, we watched a few strange interactions of passers-by (several drug addicts, two smokers who stopped right in front of our table and a very hostile guy on a bike) after which she observed, "I don't think we are in Sebastopol any more."
Friend #1: "I didn't really know what chakras were til I moved to west county."
Friend #2: "I didn't know what chakras were til I started reading Cami's blog!"
And the license plates continue:
GO HIKIN
RAIN DNC
COZMO JO
RAW MAMA
A humorous blog about Sebastopol encounters
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Sugar-free treats and other west county horrors
I don't know what it is about Halloween that seems to bring out the Sebastopol moments in abundance. I stopped by the Grateful Bagel the day before Halloween and had just missed someone announcing, "I don't celebrate Halloween, I celebrate Day of the Dead." A customer was complaining how you couldn't bring up any f-ing holiday around here without offending someone. She had worked at a small restaurant and mistakenly upset a whole table by wishing them "a happy Fourth." According to her, even Presidents Day was dicey, and of course it was wise to go nowhere near Christmas.
Somebody holding several bagels asked me if I was the blog lady (although I thought she said "blah lady," and I was much more intrigued with that premise), which launched some interesting commentary:
One man told me his neighbors have a sign on their front door which reads, Trick-or-treaters welcome, but beware all candy is sugar-free.
Another woman mentioned a Waldorf class in which the students had to dress up as either a plant or animal, and one of the boys wanted to be scary and asked his mom if he could at least be poison oak.
Her husband said there is a banner a few doors down on a fence that says, BE LOVE. But on Halloween they somehow cross out the LOVE and it reads BE SPOOKY for a night.
An ex-co-worker showed me a picture of her friend's son, who dressed up as a non-organic banana - scary because he was a GMO banana and full of toxins.
Another former co-worker was invited to a party in which one had to dress up as a goddess, a Tarot archetype or a woodland creature. She said the most creative attendee was dressed as a Hanging Man/bat.
A friend of mine who works at Whole Foods made a joke about seeing me twice in one day. Then added, "That is nothing. There are people I see who come in for breakfast, lunch and an afternoon drink. And sometimes they have dinner here, too."
We both wondered if they ever actually leave Whole Foods parking lot.
Standing in line at Community Market, a female customer announced:
"Good, my pizza card is full. I can trade it with my roommate for chlorella powder."
And this evening, back at Community Market, a cashier and I were examining two herb-infused chocolate drinks I was purchasing, trying to determine if they were identical. The containers didn't look exactly alike, but he pointed out the only difference between the two was one said "Fair Trade" and the other said "Ethically Sourced."
"What is the difference between fair trade and sourced ethically?" I asked, out of curiosity.
"I have no idea."
Points of distinction in Sebastopol.
An acquaintance was telling me about her property, on which there are 10 different renters in cottages and small houses. There is a small meeting place where they hang up notes for each other. Her water heater had gone out twice, so she posted a note asking for info about water heaters, but apparently her "t" looked like an "l" and she got responses about water healers: two people asking what water healers are, another land-mate referring her to an herbalist who practices Native American medicine, one telling her about a massage therapist whose massage is very "watery" and another recommending a watsu specialist to her.
I asked how many responses she got when she corrected the message to water heater. "Just one," she said, laughing. "I hadn't thought about that til now. There were a lot more suggestions being left for me when they thought I was asking about water healers. Whatever those are!"
License plates:
HOHM PLT
HLF SPD
ORCA LVE
SHAMAN9
NO 2WEAT
Somebody holding several bagels asked me if I was the blog lady (although I thought she said "blah lady," and I was much more intrigued with that premise), which launched some interesting commentary:
One man told me his neighbors have a sign on their front door which reads, Trick-or-treaters welcome, but beware all candy is sugar-free.
Another woman mentioned a Waldorf class in which the students had to dress up as either a plant or animal, and one of the boys wanted to be scary and asked his mom if he could at least be poison oak.
Her husband said there is a banner a few doors down on a fence that says, BE LOVE. But on Halloween they somehow cross out the LOVE and it reads BE SPOOKY for a night.
An ex-co-worker showed me a picture of her friend's son, who dressed up as a non-organic banana - scary because he was a GMO banana and full of toxins.
Another former co-worker was invited to a party in which one had to dress up as a goddess, a Tarot archetype or a woodland creature. She said the most creative attendee was dressed as a Hanging Man/bat.
A friend of mine who works at Whole Foods made a joke about seeing me twice in one day. Then added, "That is nothing. There are people I see who come in for breakfast, lunch and an afternoon drink. And sometimes they have dinner here, too."
We both wondered if they ever actually leave Whole Foods parking lot.
Standing in line at Community Market, a female customer announced:
"Good, my pizza card is full. I can trade it with my roommate for chlorella powder."
And this evening, back at Community Market, a cashier and I were examining two herb-infused chocolate drinks I was purchasing, trying to determine if they were identical. The containers didn't look exactly alike, but he pointed out the only difference between the two was one said "Fair Trade" and the other said "Ethically Sourced."
"What is the difference between fair trade and sourced ethically?" I asked, out of curiosity.
"I have no idea."
Points of distinction in Sebastopol.
An acquaintance was telling me about her property, on which there are 10 different renters in cottages and small houses. There is a small meeting place where they hang up notes for each other. Her water heater had gone out twice, so she posted a note asking for info about water heaters, but apparently her "t" looked like an "l" and she got responses about water healers: two people asking what water healers are, another land-mate referring her to an herbalist who practices Native American medicine, one telling her about a massage therapist whose massage is very "watery" and another recommending a watsu specialist to her.
I asked how many responses she got when she corrected the message to water heater. "Just one," she said, laughing. "I hadn't thought about that til now. There were a lot more suggestions being left for me when they thought I was asking about water healers. Whatever those are!"
License plates:
HOHM PLT
HLF SPD
ORCA LVE
SHAMAN9
NO 2WEAT
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