Post(ish)-pandemic Sebastopol

"He's the kind of guy that moves through life like he's always at a tantra workshop."

Young child informing the adults in the room:
"We can't go one day without kombucha around here."

Several kids playing:

"He's the Poop God, and he's been chasing us around."

"But he's a nice Poop God."

"And his wife's name is the Poop Goddess."

In front of Taylor Lane:  "You know, she's the one with the Ganesha face mask."

"I wouldn't say Community Market shoppers are any more high maintenance than they were before.  They've always been a pretty needy crowd."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine.  I mean 'pandemic fine,' but okay more or less."

"What have I been doing during the last year?  Mostly keeping Handline in business."

In an email from a friend:

"And on top of everything else, I've been having to do yoga outside.  On the grass, near a winery, listening to traffic go by, usually pretty hot, bugs crawling on me and absolutely no ground that's level enough to be laying down on.  Instead of being relaxing it feels like I'm on a crappy camping trip."

License plates

EGLE RAY

FOX MTN

EMPT HAND

GR8 THX

NUTTY U

Sebastopol as adverb

Overheard in the plaza:  "That's not my moon sign, I'm a Sagittarius rising!  You don't know me at all!!"

"You know that nice, feminine, earthy feel to Sebastopol?"
"Yeah."
"They don't have that over in Penngrove."

A friend attended a weekend conference in the Bay Area.  She told me she met people from San Francisco, the south bay, the east bay.  During a mid-day break she came upon a group from Sebastopol and west county.  "Nobody was dressed professionally.  One guy immediately started hitting on me.  Most of them hadn't even gone to the keynote address in the morning.  I think they all brought their own lunch and half of them look like they just rolled out of bed."

"We could be really Sebastopolly unoriginal and meet at Whole Foods."

"I don't know where your coffee table ended up.  It's in a yurt somewhere near Jenner I think."

Two young girls skateboarding through Community Market's parking lot.  "Yeah, this isn't bad.  But really the organic version is a lot better."

"She has a new moon group and a full moon group.  It's a good thing there aren't more moon phases or I'd never see my girlfriend."

According to my former neighbor, Daniela:
"Tips for social distancing in Sebastopol: Go to the movie theater right now.  There's hardly anyone here.  They also have a policy that you should sit two feet away from anyone.
Tip number two: Don't go to Whole Foods in Sebastopol. There is no social distancing there." 😁😁

From a woman whose neighbor was trying to lure people to his home with organic mead:  "You'll need to be more creative right now.  Mead isn't going to work.  Extra toilet paper maybe."


License plates:
HOOOT
O SPIRIT
HARE RZN
ROAM WLF
FOX FEET

Around Town

"And then she asked, 'Do you have Prius blue?'  But the funny thing was I knew exactly what she meant by that!"

"Is there any soda here?  Or just kombucha?"

I attended a new yoga class.  One participant told me she liked this particular studio, it wasn't like one she had previously tried out.  "I didn't have a mat and went to get one from the pile.  They were all looking at me, like 'What kind of person doesn't own their own yoga mat?'"

At Milk and Honey:  "If you're going to hire someone, they should have at least one planet in Virgo."

"This is a tantric household.  There's got to be scented candles around here somewhere."

On the way into Community Market, a dude exiting shouting to someone:  "Patchouli!  Patchouli! Don't forget the patchouli!"

"We are parked next to the truck with the giant crystal in the back."

"She thought I was a Scorpio.  I was trying not to be offended.  I'm like, I'm a quiet Cancer, what on earth makes you think I'm a Scorpio?!"

I recently purchased a car.  My young niece and I were chatting about library books and second grade recess activities.  Then she looks at me seriously.  "Is your new car a hybrid?"

Chatting with a classroom assistant, we talk about things she has heard on the playground over the years:
 - That's not fresh turmeric.
 - Paint from your heart opening.
 - I'm not allowed to have Disney toys.  I'm not allowed to even say the word Disney.
 - There aren't any spelt English muffins here?
 - We only buy clothes at Tribal Fest.



License plates;
TAP WINE
WILD BRO
SNMA LVN
WOLF LVR

Unsafe greens

Several children and I were going through the alphabet playing a game that involved food items.  I got stuck on K.  "I can't ever think of any 'K' food," I mused.

A young boy looks at me.  "Um, kale?"

"When all else fails, go to yoga."

"I'm looking back over our online purchases.  God, we buy a lot of essential oils."

On the trail near Analy I stopped and talked with another walker.  She told me she tends to alternate between Sebastopol trails and Spring Lake.  I asked if she noticed any difference in conversation topics when she is in Sebastopol.  She thought for a moment.  "Well, in Santa Rosa it's a lot of talk about their dogs and what they bought at Costco and where they went on vacation.  Here, I've overheard so many conversations about the latest supplements they're using." 

Waiting in line at Community Market, a customer approaches the cashier and askes if there are chocolate bars in the store.  He laughs as she points to multiple options directly behind him.  "I didn't realize I was standing right in front of a tower of chocolate."

Another customer, "Oh yeah, the health nuts around here have to have their chocolate fixes."

A friend relayed to me, "My girlfriend and I arrived at her new rental with five bags of groceries.  The parking lot was packed and we had to park out on the street.  We tried to decide which would be the least likely bag of groceries that might be stolen if we left it unattended [since the window on her truck was broken].  At first we thought nobody would take the bag of lettuce and chard.  Then we had second thoughts being in west county and decided to leave another one.  Anywhere else, we laughed and said to each other, a bag of healthy foods probably wouldn't be so vulnerable!"  

At the library:  "If you see a bunch of yin yang images in the shape of a moon printing out, those are mine."

A neighbor of mine:  "I get into my car and see the neighbor's kids 'painting' something on their car.  As I back out of the driveway and can see it better I notice the words LOVE and KIND HEART in white against the windows."

"She told me she wanted to do something enlightening.  I told her, we're in Rohnert Park!  I don't think there are many enlightening things around here.  This isn't Sebastopol."

"It was your typical west county dinner.  Drums going, lots of sliced vegetables, herbally infused water.  Different bean dishes and way too much hummus."

License plates:

BAY LEAF

NO GRAIN

SLONOMA

HRMONIC

DO CHILL

Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times
http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog-hippie-haven/article_93b6bbd4-87c1-11e9-b93f-13ce4e23b8d7.html

Really strong coffee

A yoga student bursts into class:  "I was rushing to restorative yoga.  The irony!"

An account of Easter morning:  "Our crystal pile by the garage got ransacked during an Easter egg hunt.  The children all thought the Easter bunny had left crystals.  Seemed very ordinary to all of them."

At the post office I heard a customer request "those magic stamps."  I was sending a letter regarding taxes so was surprised when the worker, eyeing the IRS address, suggested:  "Let's use a stamp with the word 'love' on it."

I was looking at my car on Bodega Avenue.  Cars were zipping by and I wondered if it was okay where I'd parked.  A guy passing by saw me scoping it out and remarked, "Your car is probably okay.  But Sebastopol is a hippie oasis so you do have to be careful of drivers around here who are pretty checked out."

"They were talking each other's ears off like the two Geminis they are."

My niece finds a jacket she hasn't worn for a while.  She tells me there is something exciting in one of the pockets.  She slowly reaches in semi-dramatically and retrieves a small bottle of essential oils.

A woman sitting in front of Whole Foods:  "I'm like trying to explain to this new guy I'm dating that there is a difference between a psychic versus a fortune teller."

A friend of mine is house sitting in Sebastopol.  In the long note the owner left her she stated:  "Most of the neighbors around here are nice.  But be leery of the really nice ones, they are usually selling something.  So unless you want to end up with a year's supply of organic gmo-free herbal lotion or bio-something protein powder, beware!"

From my neighbor:
My daughter and I went to the dog park at Ragle and when we got there there was this dog barking its head off through the fence.  The owners asked if we could wait a minute and they would all leave with their three dogs.  Then the crazy dog greeted our dog and the owner said, "Your dog is really balanced.  That's why my dog is calm now because he's a really unbalanced dog but your dog is balanced so your dog balanced my dog out."
The other Sebastopol moment happened at Retrograde café.  I was bussing my dishes and a guy was doing something to his coffee and I couldn't figure it out so I was watching.  He started to explain what he was doing.  "I'm blending coconut oil, peyote and psilocybin mushroom powder."  I believed him for a split second and then he looked at me and said, "No just kidding."  I replied:  "I believed you since we're in Sebastopol."


License plates:
WLD SGE
SHARE
ZEPHYR
DOG UNIT

Even toothpaste is political

"Do you have a drink called Survive?"
"I don't believe so."
"Or maybe Thrive?  It's a fizzy drink like beer, but healthy."
"Do you mean Revive?  We do have that one."

A customer and worker in front of Pacific Market:
"Happy Easter... or Passover!  Whatever your flavor might be."
"I usually just say happy bunny day."
"Happy return of spring!  Happy ultimate fertility day!"

Regarding a dog:  "We call her Zen because she is so quiet and chill."

Young child:  "Let's play 'What should we bring on a picnic.'"
"How do you play that?"
"You start with A and go all the way through the alphabet."
"Okay.  Let's bring an apple."
"And for B...  let's bring bone broth!"

Seven year old boy:  "Mom, I don't want to be a Taurus."
"I didn't even know you knew you are a Taurus."
"Wendy told me that's why I'm so stubborn."
"You don't have to call yourself a Taurus if you don't want to."
"I want to be something else.  What are the other Zoo-deck signs?"
"There is Pisces or Capricorn or Leo.  You can be a lion or a fish or twins."
"Are any of them unicorns?"
"Um... I don't believe so."
"I want to make up my own unicorn Zoo-deck sign."
"You have my blessing."

"Sebastopol kids and their crystals!"

An acquaintance tells me, "So my son goes to a slumber party at a friend's house.  And comes back the next day telling me not about their discussions of ninjas or movies or their teacher.  They talked about toothpaste.  And he wants to know why we buy toothpaste that isn't healthy for us or good for the planet."


License plates:
EMPT HAND
GANESHA
WAZ GOOD





Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times
http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog-sebastopol-status-updates/article_bf0b3cbe-4113-11e9-ab64-d77d9852e173.html

Tantra, Taboo and Trump

From Shannon, who provides much Sebasto-entertainment in her Facebook posts:
Sittin' outside Funk 'n' Flash playing my geetar when this dude comes up, tries to give me some money, then shows me his sri yantra.  Tells me how it's a gateway to Archangel Metratron and that our paths will cross again.  So you know, a typical day in Sebastopol.

"I have seen three ads for Valentine's day and cannabis!"

From my sister:  “We decided to play Taboo.  You know the whole premise is you're describing an item but you can't use the five words listed on the card to describe it.  If you use a word you get buzzed - so someone looks over your shoulder and buzzes you if you mess up.  The battery for the electronic buzzer had gone out so I was handed a Tibetan bowl to ding folks who said the wrong word.  No one even batted an eye.”

"It's too early in the morning to talk about tantra."

"There is nothing more annoying than being around a person who believes they are enlightened."

"You think with all the planets going direct we could manage to get Trump impeached."

Status update:
"How about a spiritual program to help spiritual people recover from 'spirituality'...?"

Vintage blog vignette:

I was with some friends of friends who were visiting from southern California.  The conversation turned to one of them desiring to learn more about the local culture during his week in west Sonoma County.  He asked how he could more aptly fit in.

"Well," one women wanted to know, "do you want to be a 'Sebastopol Guy' or a 'Sebastopol Dude?'"

He replied, "I think I am too old to be a dude.  So how about Sebastopol Guy?"

"Do you mean a SNAG?" I asked.

Someone wanted to know what a SNAG was.  Several of us answered in unison:  "Spiritual new age guy."

Troy the aspiring Sebastopolian responded:  "I don't think I am a SNAG."

"Well, you will fit right in," I maintained.  "Most SNAGs do not think they are SNAGs."

Several members of our little group smiled, nodding their heads.  Most everyone had ideas for fitting in as Sebastopol Guy:

Sit in front of Whole Foods chatting for long periods of time.

When you say good-bye to someone add "Blessings" at the end.

Go to a yoga class or two.  Or at least carry a yoga mat around. 

Consume something that contains green tea.

"Use the word 'conscious' a lot.  You know, if you garden or do bookkeeping make sure it is conscious gardening, conscious bookkeeping."  (This reminded me of a flier I recently saw for Conscious Housekeeping.)

Buy a dream journal.

Learn three attributes about your astrological sign.  Troy is a Libra.  He was told at least eight attributes by the people in this little crowd.  Because the three attributes ended up being so easy, someone said it would be more impressive if he found out his rising sign and was able to converse about it.  "Does everyone have a rising sign?" he asked.

A woman put her arm around him.  "Oh, Troy.  You have a lot to learn this week."