Tie-dye misrepresentation

I was standing in line with a guy behind me who looked as if he had frequented bars during the seventies and still dressed that way.  He said to the cashier, "What's with the organic soap? Does soap really have to be organic?  Isn't it already clean?"

A friend told me, referencing the last blog post about the curmudgeonly gentleman complaining about hippies who hoard:  "I think I know who that was!  I was at Hard Core cafe a few weeks ago and there was this older man complaining about people recycling.  I couldn't believe I was in Sebastopol and somebody was railing on recycling!  Then I realized it wasn't recycling per se - but people who think every plastic fork and tissue paper gets recycled.  He went on about it for a while!"

From a soon-to-be ex-Waldorf mom:  "We are going to go home and eat sugar and do something really crazy like watch a Disney movie!"

I was at the Sonoma library and made a comment to a librarian about the assortment of teas they have available.  I noted that is not the case at the Sebastopol library.  Somebody said, "What's available for patrons there?  Wine?"
(There is no shortage of wine or wine-tasting in Sonoma, so I'm not sure why this was amusing.  But a number of individuals around me laughed.)

"There are a lot of temples around here, a lot of unconsecrated temples..."

"They do not have Burger King and Round Table in Sebastopol.  That is not true!"
Me:  "They do - I promise."

This was a status update from the Sierra foothills, but it could have so easily happened in west county.
(thank you Ken, Sebastoblog suppporter):

Bereft of energy this morning, I put the least effort possible into dress and grooming. I opted for a rainbow tie-dyed tee shirt I picked up as a souvenir of theatre camp, and my usual pair of khakis. My cheeks unshaved, my ever-lengthening silver mane untamed by hair product, I gave my appearance no further thought, and staggered to the cafe, hoping against hope for the strength to get a modicum of work done.

At day’s end, I sauntered home along the main street of my new hometown, past the shops and the innumerable wine-tasting rooms, when a stranger approached me hurriedly and waved me down with both arms. He was tall, lanky, and young, with a knit cap, a scruffy beard, and both his upper front teeth distinctly missing. He seemed relieved to see me.
“I’ve been looking all over for somebody to give me a nugget of weed so I can go home and forget my troubles.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly, caught off-guard, “I don’t have any.”  I didn’t add that I never do.  Not my thing.  He wasted no time in wandering off, muttering over his shoulder, “You shouldn’t wear a tie-dye shirt.”
My comment:  "Oh I wish that had happened in Sebastopol, would have been such an epic entry..."

Ken:  "In Sebastopol you wouldn't have to limit yourself to people wearing tie-dye.  You'd just go stand out in front of Whole Foods and ask people."  :)

Me:  "You can stand outside the *library* and ask people."  :)

I was speaking to somebody who used to work as a receptionist for a spa in Sebastopol.  She remembered a woman coming in and saying, "I'd like to get a massage.  Not a healing." Enunciating:  "Just. A. Mas-sage."

Another Ford Focus:
FOCUS
    on
Kuan Yin

Sebastopol bumper sticker (thanks Emily):
Goat ropers need love too*


License plates:
2 NERDS
ANIMUSE
TREE TOP




* from Urban dictionary:  "Goat roper is a wannabe rancher or cowboy poser.  Goat ropers have the 4x4 pickup and the cowboy hat, but no cattle, horses, brain or land."



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Even an oil change can be spiritual

An acquaintance frequents Hard Core cafe.  She said there is a local customer who complains regularly.  His most recent rant has been about "hoarding hippies."  Neighbors he has who pride themselves in being unconventional meanwhile having homes and garages and shacks "full of crap they don't need and won't give away to Good Will.  Or at the very least have a garage sale. But having a garage sale is too mainstream for them."  

A while back my friend and her daughter were at Slice of Life.  "I had to run over to Whole Foods to grab something and saw a man dressed as a lobster eating at a table in front of the store.  I went back to Slice of Life and said to my daughter:  'There's a guy dressed as a lobster eating in front of Whole Foods' and she responded completely straight-faced: 'Of course there is.'"

A friend told me, "You were right!  Sebastopolites are not adjusting well to the the changes at Whole Foods.  One woman in line told me she can't deal with all the new colors.  A cashier told me people have been peeved they can no longer walk in the exit doors."  (I would be one of those people.)
I was speaking with someone who works there about the changes and that Whole Foods was overdue for some upgrades.  I noted, "The store is finally coming out of the nineties."  To which he replied:  "Let's be honest, it was more like the seventies."

From our Milk and Honey local informant:  "You have me listening to random snippets of conversation now.  Today's gem at the farmer's market -  'Who in their right mind would say no to organic kale?'"

I was leaving Whole Foods one evening when I heard somebody telling the person they were sitting next to they had to leave for a massage appointment.  I was too busy envying the massage but a guy sitting behind him observed:  "Someone is always leaving for a massage or acupuncture or an astrology appointment.  Why doesn't anyone ever have to leave to get their oil changed?  Or go buy light bulbs?"  
Second guy, after a moment:  "What an astrologer should do is set up a table where people get their oil changed. Then they could do both."

A friend of mine was leaving Community Market and heard someone say to whoever was with him:  "I can't go to this family thing without some kava kava first."

My sister when we were driving near Aubergine:
"Look, even the pizza delivery cars in Sebastopol are Priuses!"

I was at a mainstream (for Sebastopol) dining place and noticed they served kombucha and Revive. I commented on this to the dude behind the counter who muttered, "Well, you gotta keep the locals happy."


Favorite t-shirt:
I LIKE YOUR ENERGY

Favorite bumper sticker:
"Don't believe everything you read on an organic cookie label"


License plates:
SHHHH
WISDOM8
VEG ON

Whole Foods is no exception

I was strolling behind two shoppers who were visiting from Chicago.  Because I have become the Merciless Trolling Blogger I was attempting to listen to their conversation without being too obvious.  It was mostly about restaurants and the weather.  As I was about to walk away one said standing in front of a dozen tarot decks, "What is it with tarot cards?  I've never seen so many kinds of tarot cards.  Are these household items here?"  As they moved away I saw that it wasn't just traditional tarot - there were animal spirit decks, goddess decks, angel cards, a steampunk tarot and a dolphin deck.  (And I wasn't even at Milk and Honey.)

From a friend who used to live in Sonoma County:  "I like your blog about the land of the crystal people."

Whole Foods has been going through a transformation, and I've heard some diverse comments about the changes:
"Have you seen Whole Foods?  I can't believe what they are doing!  It looks like Costco now!"
(It has lost the granola-crunch feel to it, but I don't know if I'd go so far as to compare it to Costco.  Just morphing into a Coddingtown Whole Foods.)
"Has anyone noticed it's all about wine now?"
When the former eating area was cleared out for a few days and empty:  "What is this?  An area where you can do yoga now?"
A cashier told me one woman complained to her, "Everything is too complicated here now.  It was a big comfort to come here and know where everything was.  Now I have to think when I walk in."
"Change is one of the only constants in the universe, and Whole Foods is no exception."

A flier at the Nectary explained they would be closing early on a certain day that week, noting they would be "open for Blissness as usual" the following day.

My friend was visiting from the Minnesota who used to live in Sebastopol.  She commented, "There are some people around here who could use a good dose of midwestern groundedness.  But on the other hand, I do miss good massage therapists.  And it's next to impossible to find a fucking decent yoga class where I live."

Someone suggested I try an anti-anxiety cannabis tincture from one of the dispensaries.  I told her I didn't have a cannabis card.  "You must have a friend that has one!  You live in Sebastopol, just go stand out in front of Whole Foods and ask someone if you can borrow theirs!"


More license plates:
TRYXTER
MAKE DRT
BEEE LUV
BLOO BIU


When you go to park in Sebastopol...
(thanks, Emily)

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