A woman announced to her co-workers it was a "venti" day. Everyone chuckled in agreement, holding their mochas, espresso and coffee drinks. My friend laughed extra hard later when she realized the venti woman was talking about her large cup of herbal tea.
A Whole Foods shopper on her cell phone discussing Christmas dinner:
"Go ahead and tell me. Dietary restrictions don't scare me. At home I've got a vegan, someone avoiding wheat and my son who's just an extremely picky eater."
I had retrieved a bottle of ginger tablets I left somewhere and was carrying them with me while shopping downtown. In Copperfield's I commented to an employee about it. Looking at them, she shook her head and noted, "That's not anything. You should see the weird and bizarre bottles of I-don't-know-what that have been left here. At least I've heard of ginger."
A teacher's aide in an elementary school told me about a boy in her classroom who informed his teacher he was not allowed to say the name Trump. The teacher inquired, "What do you call our President-elect at home?"
"We're allowed to say 'the man who lost the popular vote.'"
Woman exiting Whole Body a few days ago: "Happy whatever!"
"I thought with your beard and your guitar you ate really healthy."
"No... I pretty much will eat anything."
"This stuff is full of sugar."
"That's not a problem."
Facebook post of the week: "Sitting in a chair named 'Lavender' eating an ice cream called 'Witchcraft' at Screamin' Mimi's..."
My neighbor: "I didn't get as sick as them. I supplementized well."
A few years ago when I was holiday shopping at a crystal store the owner showed me some jewelry pieces. One had seven colors, each corresponding to a chakra. As she was explaining this to me I asked what she said to people who don't know about chakras. "Well, if they are gay then I say, 'Gay pride!' If they aren't gay and don't know what chakras are, then I just say, 'Look, it's a pretty rainbow.'"
License plates:
DOOMS DAY
OM GURUU
SSSTEAM
WINE *
(* and your point would be...?)
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