Evacuate in a zen-like manner...

A man talking to several people outside of Community Market:  "All roads lead to Sebastopol..."

I sometimes run into people I have quoted in my blog but have never met before.  One woman I was introduced to recently told me she was quite sure it had been her that said, "I don't go to yoga to relax.  If I wanted to relax I would have a glass of red wine."
"That certainly sounded like something I would say!" she informed me.  "I read it to my husband who thought the same thing.  But I can add to that.  One of my friends goes to a yoga class every week, and then goes home and is so relaxed she never wants to talk to anyone in her family and goes into a room and hides.  If anyone tries to talk to her, she sends them away.  Finally one of her kids said, 'Mom, why are you so impolite after yoga?'  So she told me she realized as relaxing as yoga is, she still has to go home and be nice to her kids."

Milk and Honey regular leaving the store:  "Happy Solstice, everyone!"
Milk and Honey shopper:  "Everyone is into solstice around here."
Milk and Honey worker:  "Oh, you have no idea."

In a small group of people the subject of this blog came up.  Someone I don't know well said to me, "You are Miss Sebastopol?"
Me:  "Not really."
Him:  "Well, you write the Sebastopol blog."
Me:  "Half the people that read it think I am making fun of Sebastopol."  (Which actually is not my intention.)
Him:  "I think you are Miss Sebastopol to a lot of people." 
(Me internally:  ???)
Him:  "You write about many things Sebastopol."
Me:  "That nickname doesn't really resonate with me, but I'd at least prefer Ms. Sebastopol." 
   
I was visiting a family I used to babysit for, getting introduced to a new member who was not yet born when I was around years ago.  He is a quiet five year old who has been at a kindergarten in a very "west county" non-mainstream school.  He is attending summer school and his mother was telling me how much he enjoys it.  When she went to the bathroom he picked up some chimes and came up to me, noisily clashing them together.  Over and over again.  His mom came back in the room.  "He's been doing that all week.  They practiced for fire drills at school.  He likes those chimes but he doesn't usually do that so loud," she explained.
He did it for me again.
After a moment I speculated, "Do you think they used actual chimes when they were doing the drills?"
His mother burst out laughing.  "I thought he was imitating an alarm.  But at this school...  I didn't think to ask but it very well could have been fire drills with chimes."

Status update forwarded to me which made me laugh:
"Watched an NBA finals game at a packed bar in Los Angeles. Lots of people having a great time drinking and watching sports. Watching the next game at a packed little bar at a market in Sebastopol. Almost no one is drinking (ok, one person is drinking Kombucha), and I am pretty sure it's packed because almost no one in Sebastopol has TV."


License plates:
WMNKND
JEDI 007
CHI MOM
ULLALAH
8MAGIC8







https://www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Organic produce and guilt

I've had several comments when I post the blog on Facebook, asking if I am worried about Sebastopol just one day floating away.
(Yes, I am.)  

One evening I spoke to a shop owner on Main Street for a few moments and mentioned my blog.  He asked a few questions about it, and when I meandered down Main Street again last week I thought this same man was standing in front of his shop.  I walked up, asking:  "Any funny Sebastopol stories for me?"  He just stared at me and as I got closer I realized it wasn't the same guy.
I awkwardly explained I thought he was someone else and as it turned out he did have a Sebastopol moment to share.  A few months back a woman came into his shop, asking where on earth she could get ylang ylang essential oil.  She was pronouncing it "why-long why-long" so at first he wasn't even sure what she was referring to.  Her gave her a few suggestions and asked her what she needed it for.  She told him she was visiting from out of state, that her daughter frequently used essential oils, was not feeling well and declared:  "Mom, if you love me you will go find me some ylang ylang!"

A Sebastopol grocery store worker told me when he was working at the customer service counter a customer objected to the solicitors outside the store:  "Can't I walk up to Whole Foods or Community Market without having somebody ask me to save the environment or donate to Amnesty International or sign a petition?  I want to buy organic vegetables, but really don't want to feel guilty every time I walk in the store."

From a friend:  "You know you've lived in west county for a while when you get on the computer to pay bills and end up spending an hour reading about your Celtic animal birth sign."

I met a former co-worker at Hard Core cafe, hoping to hear a diatribe from the older gentleman who complains a lot that I've heard about.  But no such luck.  Leslie did run into a friend of hers, who told us about a guy she met at Hop Monk who had very short hair and looked like a firefighter.  "I'm so used to these dance parties I go to and meeting these guys with long hair who live in an intentional community and have a girlfriend or wife but it's okay because they are in an open relationship.  This guy was so conservative looking, maybe he's even a Republican!"
Leslie started laughing, "You are going to end up in Cami's blog."
She looked at me.  "Please don't quote me!  One of these guys might know it was me talking about them."
I assured her: "I don't think you're in danger of identifying anybody.  You'd have to be a lot more specific than that."


Bumper sticker of the week:
Pre-occupy Sebastopol


License plates:
WEARTH
BAT BMW
BE QIFUL
AHA MOMT






https://www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Angry (sol)birds

A young woman told me about a neighbor family she used to babysit for.  The parents were meditative and tranquil.  The children were not allowed to argue and if they did had to go outside to the garden and quiet themselves.  She said, "They were really a nice family, but the parents were so peaceful they didn't even let their kids play angry birds on their phones."
"The game was too hostile for their zen household?" I asked.
She smiled.  "Exactly."

During the changes at Whole Foods a cashier told me the workers came in late in the evening and worked all night, usually loading up on Rockstars at the beginning of their shifts.  This reminded me of watching several people get jacked up on yerba mate and raw cacao desserts late one evening to prepare a downtown shop for the holidays.  (And I'm actually not talking about Milk and Honey.  Hand to Lakshmi.)

With a group of people at a park:
"I just put my hand in bird crap."
"Is that good luck?"
"In Sebastopol it is."

As I was strolling through Community Market I heard a woman incredulously ask the person she was with:  "What do you mean you don't know what kimchi is?  How can you never have had kim-chi?"

A Starbucks customer mentioned a dinner group she has been in for a while.  She described some of the members: "They are delightful people.  But when they start talking about different dimensions or beings from other realms I just go south."

"... and you buy cashew butter that is twelve dollars, and because it's organic it only lasts for three hours."

As I was walking out of Whole Foods, I heard a woman saying rather sternly to (I'm assuming) her mother or mother-in-law visiting from another state:  "Well, welcome to California.  We compost here.  We recycle."

The moment you realize the two toddlers you are watching are building a fort out of yoga mats.


License plates:
SOL BIRD
FERMENT
RAY LUVR



A tip jar at a local restaurant

Tie-dye misrepresentation

I was standing in line with a guy behind me who looked as if he had frequented bars during the seventies and still dressed that way.  He said to the cashier, "What's with the organic soap? Does soap really have to be organic?  Isn't it already clean?"

A friend told me, referencing the last blog post about the curmudgeonly gentleman complaining about hippies who hoard:  "I think I know who that was!  I was at Hard Core cafe a few weeks ago and there was this older man complaining about people recycling.  I couldn't believe I was in Sebastopol and somebody was railing on recycling!  Then I realized it wasn't recycling per se - but people who think every plastic fork and tissue paper gets recycled.  He went on about it for a while!"

From a soon-to-be ex-Waldorf mom:  "We are going to go home and eat sugar and do something really crazy like watch a Disney movie!"

I was at the Sonoma library and made a comment to a librarian about the assortment of teas they have available.  I noted that is not the case at the Sebastopol library.  Somebody said, "What's available for patrons there?  Wine?"
(There is no shortage of wine or wine-tasting in Sonoma, so I'm not sure why this was amusing.  But a number of individuals around me laughed.)

"There are a lot of temples around here, a lot of unconsecrated temples..."

"They do not have Burger King and Round Table in Sebastopol.  That is not true!"
Me:  "They do - I promise."

This was a status update from the Sierra foothills, but it could have so easily happened in west county.
(thank you Ken, Sebastoblog suppporter):

Bereft of energy this morning, I put the least effort possible into dress and grooming. I opted for a rainbow tie-dyed tee shirt I picked up as a souvenir of theatre camp, and my usual pair of khakis. My cheeks unshaved, my ever-lengthening silver mane untamed by hair product, I gave my appearance no further thought, and staggered to the cafe, hoping against hope for the strength to get a modicum of work done.

At day’s end, I sauntered home along the main street of my new hometown, past the shops and the innumerable wine-tasting rooms, when a stranger approached me hurriedly and waved me down with both arms. He was tall, lanky, and young, with a knit cap, a scruffy beard, and both his upper front teeth distinctly missing. He seemed relieved to see me.
“I’ve been looking all over for somebody to give me a nugget of weed so I can go home and forget my troubles.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly, caught off-guard, “I don’t have any.”  I didn’t add that I never do.  Not my thing.  He wasted no time in wandering off, muttering over his shoulder, “You shouldn’t wear a tie-dye shirt.”
My comment:  "Oh I wish that had happened in Sebastopol, would have been such an epic entry..."

Ken:  "In Sebastopol you wouldn't have to limit yourself to people wearing tie-dye.  You'd just go stand out in front of Whole Foods and ask people."  :)

Me:  "You can stand outside the *library* and ask people."  :)

I was speaking to somebody who used to work as a receptionist for a spa in Sebastopol.  She remembered a woman coming in and saying, "I'd like to get a massage.  Not a healing." Enunciating:  "Just. A. Mas-sage."

Another Ford Focus:
FOCUS
    on
Kuan Yin

Sebastopol bumper sticker (thanks Emily):
Goat ropers need love too*


License plates:
2 NERDS
ANIMUSE
TREE TOP




* from Urban dictionary:  "Goat roper is a wannabe rancher or cowboy poser.  Goat ropers have the 4x4 pickup and the cowboy hat, but no cattle, horses, brain or land."



https://www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Even an oil change can be spiritual

An acquaintance frequents Hard Core cafe.  She said there is a local customer who complains regularly.  His most recent rant has been about "hoarding hippies."  Neighbors he has who pride themselves in being unconventional meanwhile having homes and garages and shacks "full of crap they don't need and won't give away to Good Will.  Or at the very least have a garage sale. But having a garage sale is too mainstream for them."  

A while back my friend and her daughter were at Slice of Life.  "I had to run over to Whole Foods to grab something and saw a man dressed as a lobster eating at a table in front of the store.  I went back to Slice of Life and said to my daughter:  'There's a guy dressed as a lobster eating in front of Whole Foods' and she responded completely straight-faced: 'Of course there is.'"

A friend told me, "You were right!  Sebastopolites are not adjusting well to the the changes at Whole Foods.  One woman in line told me she can't deal with all the new colors.  A cashier told me people have been peeved they can no longer walk in the exit doors."  (I would be one of those people.)
I was speaking with someone who works there about the changes and that Whole Foods was overdue for some upgrades.  I noted, "The store is finally coming out of the nineties."  To which he replied:  "Let's be honest, it was more like the seventies."

From our Milk and Honey local informant:  "You have me listening to random snippets of conversation now.  Today's gem at the farmer's market -  'Who in their right mind would say no to organic kale?'"

I was leaving Whole Foods one evening when I heard somebody telling the person they were sitting next to they had to leave for a massage appointment.  I was too busy envying the massage but a guy sitting behind him observed:  "Someone is always leaving for a massage or acupuncture or an astrology appointment.  Why doesn't anyone ever have to leave to get their oil changed?  Or go buy light bulbs?"  
Second guy, after a moment:  "What an astrologer should do is set up a table where people get their oil changed. Then they could do both."

A friend of mine was leaving Community Market and heard someone say to whoever was with him:  "I can't go to this family thing without some kava kava first."

My sister when we were driving near Aubergine:
"Look, even the pizza delivery cars in Sebastopol are Priuses!"

I was at a mainstream (for Sebastopol) dining place and noticed they served kombucha and Revive. I commented on this to the dude behind the counter who muttered, "Well, you gotta keep the locals happy."


Favorite t-shirt:
I LIKE YOUR ENERGY

Favorite bumper sticker:
"Don't believe everything you read on an organic cookie label"


License plates:
SHHHH
WISDOM8
VEG ON

Whole Foods is no exception

I was strolling behind two shoppers who were visiting from Chicago.  Because I have become the Merciless Trolling Blogger I was attempting to listen to their conversation without being too obvious.  It was mostly about restaurants and the weather.  As I was about to walk away one said standing in front of a dozen tarot decks, "What is it with tarot cards?  I've never seen so many kinds of tarot cards.  Are these household items here?"  As they moved away I saw that it wasn't just traditional tarot - there were animal spirit decks, goddess decks, angel cards, a steampunk tarot and a dolphin deck.  (And I wasn't even at Milk and Honey.)

From a friend who used to live in Sonoma County:  "I like your blog about the land of the crystal people."

Whole Foods has been going through a transformation, and I've heard some diverse comments about the changes:
"Have you seen Whole Foods?  I can't believe what they are doing!  It looks like Costco now!"
(It has lost the granola-crunch feel to it, but I don't know if I'd go so far as to compare it to Costco.  Just morphing into a Coddingtown Whole Foods.)
"Has anyone noticed it's all about wine now?"
When the former eating area was cleared out for a few days and empty:  "What is this?  An area where you can do yoga now?"
A cashier told me one woman complained to her, "Everything is too complicated here now.  It was a big comfort to come here and know where everything was.  Now I have to think when I walk in."
"Change is one of the only constants in the universe, and Whole Foods is no exception."

A flier at the Nectary explained they would be closing early on a certain day that week, noting they would be "open for Blissness as usual" the following day.

My friend was visiting from the Minnesota who used to live in Sebastopol.  She commented, "There are some people around here who could use a good dose of midwestern groundedness.  But on the other hand, I do miss good massage therapists.  And it's next to impossible to find a fucking decent yoga class where I live."

Someone suggested I try an anti-anxiety cannabis tincture from one of the dispensaries.  I told her I didn't have a cannabis card.  "You must have a friend that has one!  You live in Sebastopol, just go stand out in front of Whole Foods and ask someone if you can borrow theirs!"


More license plates:
TRYXTER
MAKE DRT
BEEE LUV
BLOO BIU


When you go to park in Sebastopol...
(thanks, Emily)

www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

West county market celebrity status

From my community mole:
"Last night some dreadlocked dad told his acting up dreadlocked son to 'be respectful'!"  It is not often one sees multi-generational dreadlocked dudes. 

A woman I was talking to at Ives Park told me she's in a play group and one day the toddlers were playing a game where everyone would have to do what one of the kids would yell.  "It was like, 'everybody run!  Everybody fall down!  Everybody clap!'  One little boy shouted, 'Everybody meditate!'  And three or four kids dropped to the ground, cross-legged and everything!  They were taking it so seriously they didn't even notice how loud all the moms were suddenly laughing!" 

This shopper I briefly chatted with told me one of her renters watches games at the Community Market bar. "Where else could he go watch a basketball game and drink a bunch of Kombucha?" she mused.  "It's his happy place."

When Ken M. shares my posts, he always has good Sebasto-comments to go along with them:
 From our friend the Blog Lady, here's your latest update from Sebastopol, CA...
  - where beauty is in the third eye of the beholder.
  - goddesses' country.
  - where the streets are lined with yoga mats.
  - the Biggest Little Yoga Studio in the world.
  - where everyone wears the yoga pants in the family.
  - where sage advice means how to smudge your home, office, and car interior.  And gym locker.  And tote bag.  And post office box.
 - where your karma runs over your dogma with your Yogi at the wheel.
(I personally have smudged a lot of things, but would like to go on record as to never having smudged my post office box.)

In response to the name of the last post ("I'll have white wine and a Snickers"), my neighbor Daniela noted:  "I bet you could get both at the Rialto!"
(Of course I would be more apt to get white wine with their [non-organic] popcorn.)

A few people have noticed I got customer of the month at Community Market.  One friend told me, "See, you are famous!"  People say this sometimes to me regarding the blog, and I tell them, "Yeah, Sebastopol Whole Foods famous."  Now I can say, "Whole Foods/Community Market famous."
From another comrade:  "So the Sebastoblogger got customer of the month at Community Market?  These things are so political..."


License plates:
AH PINOT
LITENDUP
(not to be confused with NLITEN UP, LI-10 UP or LITEN UP)