High profile

"You know you're in the west county when it's one in the morning and your boyfriend's roommates have the munchies and are still insisting the snacks be 'healthy.'  One of them is looking at the ingredients on a package of cookies to make sure the sugar is organic."

"She was high as a kite.  But I did get a moment of stoned empathy."

A thirtysomething guy telling me about different places he has lived locally:  "And at one point I rented a house with five other people on High Street.  Which was aptly named for my roommates and our leisure activities."

A tai chi instructor told me about teaching in Rohnert Park and that his students thought parts of the class were "too spiritual."  The woman I was with commented, "You should go teach in Sebastopol.  Nobody would bat an eye."

From my massage therapist:  "One of the things I love about Sebastopol is that you can't really tell the difference between the homeless people and the millionaires."

Although I was in Healdsburg, I saw a sign that said "Organic Suntanning Booths" which I thought could easily have been a sign in Sebastopol.  And in the words of my co-worker, "W-t-f does that mean??"

At the Petaluma library I was admiring some Day of the Dead art with another library patron.  She asked me if I had been to any of the Day of the Dead activities in Petaluma and I said, "No.  I live in Sebastopol."
"Yeah, it's sort of always day of the dead up there, huh?"


License plates:
DOLPHIN
SIP MUCH
SUNDROP


My same co-worker noticed the polite parking sign in the plaza, "Please..."

Costly carbs

After hearing about heart-painted garbage and recycling cans, a reader told me about going for a walk one morning during the holidays when it was very crowded downtown.  A guy drove past her twice and the second time slowed down and handed her a few bottles to put in a recycling bin nearby.  "I'm sorry," he apologized.  "There is no place to park."
She reluctantly took them, and as he pulled away he called, "You are helping the earth!  Terra firma thanks you!"

Status update, describing a chalk picture of a surfer on the mural across from Whole Foods parking lot:
"A surfer... about as extreme as tagging gets in Sebasto-town."

In the plaza:  "I've been eating tofu and kale all day.  I've got to get some real protein and something without greens."
Overheard at a new Sebastopol restaurant:  "That is a $7 potato."

A local resident saw her neighborhood kids acting out something in the street involving Trump.  She couldn't figure out why these children of liberal parents were staging a pretend Trump rally until another neighbor informed her they were actually playing "Trump protestors."

Guy wearing a sandwich board, taking a stand against Sebastopol's bad feng shui:
"CVS EATS CRAP"

A library patron to a librarian:  "It probably doesn't help that my user name is Edward Snowden."

At an event a woman asked me and my friend's daughter about the downtown shop Milk and Honey.  Both of us used the word "goddessy" in our descriptions.
"What do you mean by 'goddessy?'" she asked.
Me:  "Um... you must not be from around here?"
(She was not.)


License plates:
PANS IMP
I CN I WLL
BE TRUE
LUV FOXY







https://www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Vineyards and vignettes

Regarding the last post:
"Mercury Retrograde is worse than bad Feng Shui.  All you have to do with Feng Shui is move a plant or two.  With Mercury Retrograde you've got to wait for entire planets to move."

A worker at Fiesta market asked me about a chocolate mocha drink I purchased for a dollar off.  "What can I say?  I follow the sales," I joked. 
"You should see when kombucha is on sale here," he countered.  "Entire cases walk out the door.  We are usually out in one afternoon."

On an early morning drive I noticed garbage cans by the sidewalk that have hearts painted on them.  Even trash and recycling get showered with love in west county.

At the Barlow a friend overheard two men discussing an anniversary gift.  One said, "They own a vineyard.  We can't show up with crystals.  They aren't those type of Sebastopol people.  We have to get them a real gift."

Waiting at the intersection of Main St. and 12, watching a girl with long pink hair cross the street toting a unicorn backpack.  (And by girl I mean someone in her early twenties.)

One warm evening at dusk I was sitting on a bench at Ragle park, hoping to spot some barn owls.  A woman came around the corner and looked awfully disappointed I was sitting there.  "You took my meditation bench!" she cried.  And went off in a bit of a huff.

"Look at all these stars and clouds - even my emojis are ungrounded right now."

Sometimes cashiers at Whole Foods or other stores will tell me about offbeat encounters with shoppers as potential blog material.  Recently one told me about an extremely tactless customer.
"Actually, that's just a story of someone being really impolite.  I think that could happen anywhere," I let them know.
"I see.  Right."
"Now if they are rude and then start talking about mindfulness or quoting Thich Nhat Hanh to you, then you can tell me about it."
"Oh, it's happened...."

A text from my sister:  "There was an hour wait to get a table.  I can't believe Ramen Gaijin has become such the Sebastopol hot spot!"
Me:  "I can't believe Sebastopol has a hot spot."


License plates:
SEASAW
AQURIUS
RAW RAWW
IT GOZ
PYRO FAM*



(* ??)

Another day, another goat

From a reader:  "Leaving work at 7:45.... at the main intersection of Sebastopol downtown when I realize the dude on the corner was wearing a longish gown thing (a-la Jesus) that was tie-dyed, has scraggly Jesus hair and the thing on a leash I thought was a dog..... IT WAS A RAM WITH HUGE CURVED HORNS!  Such a Sebastopol experience."
A day or two later I was in Whole Foods and the cashier mentioned, "Have you seen the dude walking around with a goat?"  And I responded I heard about it via a blog reader but hadn't actually seen it.  She then described the guy to me, and as it turned out.... two completely different stories.

At a grocery store (and actually not Whole Foods or Community Market).
The cashier recaps: "Things have been very intense!  The new moon, mercury going retrograde, then the eclipse and full moon... We are rockin' and rollin'!"

"Well, in Sebastopol people dress pretty casual.  So you may have pajamas on but no one would notice.  They would think you're wearing gardening or yoga pants."

Guy flags down another guy backing out his truck in the parking lot at Papas and Pollo.  "Hey, bro... there is Kombucha on the top of your car, man!"

I normally don't randomly start talking to someone I don't know, unless it is connected to doing this blog.  I was in the library parking lot walking behind a guy wearing big bulky, flowery pants.  I said to him, "Based on the pants you are wearing, I think you would like my blog."
He looked at me, a little confused, maybe thinking I write a clothing blog.  Finally he asked what it is about.
"It's a humorous blog about Sebastopol culture," I explained.
"Oh, what's it called?  I probably would like it."
(See?)

(Thank you to Emily for the fodder alert.)
Facebook post:  "Sebastopol's feng shui is jacked."  (Referring to the construction on 12 and the new CVS building going up, both creating a lot more traffic than usual.)
 comment:  "It's not really Sebastopol's fault. It was just a small apple farmer's town and then all the PEOPLE happened."
 comment:  "No it's mercury retrograde - it'll be over soon!"
  reply:  "Has Mercury been in retrograde for 10 years?"
  (and my favorite) reply:  "A debate about whether issues in Sebastopol are caused by bad feng shui or mercury in retrograde is the most Sebastopol thing ever."

Bumper sticker of the week:
I Break for Butterflies


License plates:
SPRT FRE
EL COOL
LET IT BE
ECO LVL
BLESSEDZ

Delivery in retrograde

From the last posting:
"What are pockets of preciousness exactly?"

A woman at my bank who was commenting on west county culture:  "I don't think very often that I live in a place that is that different from other towns.  But last weekend I walked into Community Market and there was a guy with no shoes wandering around, another caucasian guy with dreads complaining there were no purple sweet potatoes, a young couple who looked like they had been transported from Golden Gate Park circa 1965 and then passed a woman explaining the differences between intentional communities, cooperatives and communes.  This all happened in about 60 seconds."

Overheard at Whole Foods in the frozen section:  "Tofurky pizza.  What in the world...?"

I was chatting with someone in line at Whole Foods who ended up "confessing" to me she eats only organic produce but with unhealthy chips or cheese puffs.  "I don't like healthy chips, I don't know what it is about them.  I'll have organic carrots and celery and dip with oolong tea - and a pile of Cheetos."  (Which reminded me of when I buy my favorite chocolate mocha drink and pro-biotic kefir, the two probably cancelling each other out.)

A voicemail from a local shoe mender, Michael the Arch Ankle, regarding my sandal that had fallen apart:  "...calling you back from the boot shop.  Your sandal - you need to have your sole saved.  And you know I practice boot-ism.  I am a boot-ist.  And I, if anybody, am able to reincarnate your sole using the principles of boot-ism.   So we must schedule an appointment, a prayer session.  So your sole can be saved.  And you know they are sole mates, so you may have to bring both sandals."

My sister gets Whole Foods deliveries weekly which are usually smooth and uneventful. Recently she received one that went sideways in multiple ways.  The delivery debacle included: being 3 hours late, the driver going to an old address she hadn't lived at for several years, only delivering part of her groceries, one grocery bag and the receipt being left at Whole Foods.  In addition the order was wrong: "...including burritos that I had to send back because they were gluten-free tortillas but had dairy (I felt like a total princess telling the guy that)."  Whole Foods emailed apologizing and stating that they normally don't do deliveries on holiday weekends, referring to Labor Day.

My sister's response:  "I know in times past you've sent out emails regarding no delivery during holiday times.   Perhaps it's a good idea to add no deliveries during Mercury in retrograde too, eh?" 

License plates:
ARROW IT
SURE GRL
MELO MOM
BAD CHEE
LOVY BUG
  (this car gets honorable mention for having eyelashes on the headlights)






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog

W.C. O.C.D.

My friend's text insisting she would pay for a treatment for me: "Happy birthday, merry Christmas, happy vegan-butterfly-chakra day!" {smiling emoticon}

In the bathroom of a doctors' office building:
"This building is pretty modern."
(I nod.)
"It's so nice.  For Sebastopol."
Me:  "Yeah, I have gone to a lot of appointments in old Victorian houses."
"I know, right?!  I went to this chiropractor and the whole place would shake any time someone walked up or down the stairs.  And the floor had a really bad slant."

Practitioner:  "Green drinks are good.  You live in Sebastopol.  You probably drink a lot of green drinks already."

While I was waiting for a to-go order, an older couple strolled slowly down Main street.
"Can't we go to a regular jewelry store?"
"This one looks all right."
"No... the jewelry here is too political."

From a friend of a friend:
"This guy I know is really into astrology and so is his girlfriend.  His daughter is seven and I know she is growing up around a lot of astrology talk, but it's still so amusing to hear her say, 'Well, what do you expect from a Scorpio?'  Or 'She has a temper, I wonder what her rising sign is?'"

This is from a New York post, but could have so easily been a local conversation:
Overheard at Whole Foods while eating lunch. Well coifed affluent mom on the phone apologizing to husband totally seriously: "I shouldn't have had that toast. I'm sorry I screamed. It was the gluten talking."

A customer before me in a grocery store asked the cashier to put on gloves to handle the produce he was purchasing.  After he left she said to me, "Sebastopol people are so weird and needy!  And I was born and raised here, so I have the right to say that!"
I laughed and asked if that was common.
"These things happen all the time!  There are a lot of O.C.D. customers."
Me:  "It's west county versions of O.C.D."
"I know!  Tell me about it!"

A Facebook post a friend passed on to me (names deleted to protect the enlightened):
"Happy birthday glorious lady!  Sending you so much light on this beautiful day!"
     "Thank you!!"
  "Lots of love and loads of light and pockets of preciousness!!"
     "To you too!"
  "So much light for this year!  Glistening gobs of light gently raining each day of the coming year!"
     "Got it!  I'm good.  That's enough light!!"


License plates:
GEEK LOV
BO HIWAY*
CATS MLK
WYN SNOB
LOFTY




(*Bohemian Hiway)







www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Sebastotots

A reader told me she does not have Sebastopol encounters very often.  However, her neighbor's young daughter did crack her up when she complained during a visit they did not have any mantra chanting CDs.  "I'm asking my husband, what is a mantra chanting CD anyway??"

"Don't worry, this is Sebastopol.  His parents will talk to us about this.  Parents here don't even give kids sugar without talking to you first."

On our way to a friend's house (in my Camry), my niece asked:  "Does she have a Prius?"
Me, amused:  "Yes, actually she does."
Her:  "Priuses are good for the earth.  Not like this car."
And my niece commenting on two of her neighbors' recent haircuts:  "They both got their hair cut really short!  Their hair is as short as Quan Yin's!  For reals!"

A friend of a friend told me a story about failing to realize how Waldorf-pervasive her son's playgroup was.  "I showed up with snacks in plastic bowls.  There were a few toddlers and parents just staring at them quietly and I felt like I'd done something terrible.  Like taken Percoset out of my bag and handing it out to the children." 

I didn't have much cash with me and was purchasing lemons and a chocolate drink.  I was counting out change and informing the cashier, "I'm not sure I have enough.  If so, the chocolate drink is going to win."  Fortunately I had enough quarters, and as I walked out another customer told me she had a similar experience when she had left her credit card at home.  She had to choose between leeks she needed for a soup she had already started making and chocolate truffles she couldn't bring herself to put back on the shelf.  "When you're hungry and have truffles in your hand all of a sudden the organic veggie bean soup you've been making all afternoon doesn't matter any more."

In a downtown store I heard a woman conversing about people who own horses in west county.  "When I lived in the Central Valley the horse names were Stud and Daisy and Brandy.  I move here and everyone's horse has names like Moonbeam and Sky Rider."

Late evening delirium at Whole Foods (after a long day) between two cashiers and I, one of whom I have quoted before.
"I'm sorry I can't ring you up, I can't log on to the system right now."
Me:  "Well, that's not funny.  I can't put that in my blog."  (some laughter)
She explains to me why she can't log on for technical reasons.
Me:  "Can't you say your chakras aren't in alignment?  Or that there are planetary reasons?"
(more cackling)
"Well we are going through some gateway into Leo and are experiencing a shift today."
Me:  "That's what I'm talkin' about....  Although it seems like we are always going through a shift.  There is always some trine happening, or something coming out of retrograde or--"
(All three of us are laughing now.)
"Yeah, it's like there is always some shift happening!  And you tell a person there's something shifting, and they are like, 'Yeah!  That totally makes sense!  Everything makes sense!"
Me:  "Well, I'm so glad you told me about the shift.  My whole life makes sense now!"
"I'm going to go call my family!  Something is shifting.  My whole day makes sense now!"



License plates:

PEAS 2U2

FRESH 4U

FRST LYT

COWBOY U
GT WIZARD