Chocolate yoga

Responding to the previous blog post, a local relayed a story about a small business she used to work for.  Things used to go missing quite often, from tea kettles to diffusers.  One day she and her boss were discussing how they could figure out who took the diffuser and some essential oil.  Her boss suggested, "Let's show up at people's houses unannounced and whosever house smells like sandalwood or patchouli, that is probably the thief!"
#sandalwoodsnatchers

My sister's advice to me regarding bringing a talisman to a gathering:  "Just bring a coin or rock.  Don't stress about it!  Just add some spiritual prayer when you give it.  'This is a rock from Mother Earth.  It comes from the center of a local spiritual vortex (Whole Foods parking lot).'"

An email forwarded to me from a downtown shop:
"Yes the credit card machine is working again.... no personal checks, too many issues.... yes we do need to keep the cash option for all the growers that come in here."

A friend told me about dropping a large bottle of lavender oil on her toes.  "Two of them really hurt and swelled up.  So I got oil from the bottle that I dropped on them, because lavender helps inflammation.  Bottle of oil causes pain/use oil to help the injury.  Kind of herbal zen Buddhist."

"This has been the retrograde of all retrogrades."

A text to my sister on the way to yoga:  "I'm so tired I'm eating dark chocolate to help me wake up. Does it cancel out yoga to down half a chocolate bar on the way there?  Bahaha-yawn..."
And after:  "That was such a good class!  Maybe I should get jacked up on chocolate every week!"

On Facebook, a mini-rant from a Sebastopol mother.
"It doesn't have to be Mother's day to get a massage!!  Look around... you can get a massage because it's a Wednesday.  It doesn't need to be mother's day or a special anniversary or the solstice full moon eclipse.  Go get a massage if you want a massage!"


License plates:
OM AUTO
NT8GRTY
PLUM BOM
GREYTFL


Mother and daughter digging through recycling and making something out of what was found, dubbed by Trini's daughter "the most Sebastopol thing ever."

Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times
http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog/article_44bd4804-3115-11e7-9a16-4727e670d0d4.html

Rosemary robbers

A text encounter shown to me:
-We are parked across from the rv w/painted trees and purple dragons on it.
-is this for real?
-Yes....we ARE in Sebastopol, so yes!

A young child in a coffee shop, pointing to a jar of unrefined sugar crystals:  "This is the bad kind of sugar.  This can kill you."

"I knew I'd been living here for a while," a reader relayed in an email, "when I saw a note on the board at school...'Whoever stole the essential oils in Room 4, we want them back!'  And I didn't blink.  Essential oil thieves?  What else is new??"

When Your Yoga Teacher who Lives in Santa Rosa Really Seems Like He is From Sebastopol
(jokingly) "Since there are only two of you tonight we will do an hour of partner yoga eye gazing."

At the Farmers' Market:
"Here are compostable spoons if you need one."
"No thank you.  I have compostable spoons in my car."

Post of the week (on April 20th, if that's not clear): Sebastopol, Ca will be partly cloudy with a smokey haze today. Good time to be out in the 
air would be around 4:20. Just breathe.

(Sebasto-version)
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to thank the sun, and they all go marching down to the ground ...
The ants go marching two by two, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching two by two, the little one stops to say I love you, and they all go marching down to the ground ....
The ants go marching three by three, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching three by three, the little one stops to smile with glee, and they all go marching down to the ground ....
The ants go marching four by four, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching four by four, the little one stops to wave at Thor, and they all go marching down to the ground ....

"Honey, we made it through Venus in retrograde."

"Mercury is so fucking in retrograde right now."


License plates:
FLUFF HD
WYNE PRO
APL RNCH
KAT TALE

Whole lotta retrograde

Me, explaining my blog to someone:  "Do you know what I mean by west county culture?"
Him:  "Yeah.  West county person, west county restaurant.  And there are west county hugs."
"Oh, you know about those?"
"The long hugs, the staring and breathing... it can end up being part massage."

A Whole Foods worker told me he overheard a woman disclose to someone, "I can't have anything with even a tiny bit of cacao.  It's like my gateway drug."

I found an email I sent to someone years ago when I hadn't lived in Sonoma County for very long.  I had spent the day at a pot luck BBQ in Sebastopol.
"I guess it was a BBQ, if you can call it that since everything was vegetarian.  There were five distinctly different kinds of veggie burgers.  And so much granola!!  Literally, I couldn't believe it.  All these different granola concoctions.  I've never been exposed to so many different kinds of seeds in a one setting.  Also they leave food out for hours at a time, and no one seems to care.  Refrigeration is not a big requirement here."

"For sure there is a Sebastopol bubble."
"Yes, I know.  Some people here are definitely in it."
"Some people are proud of it."
Me:  "Some people work hard at cultivating that bubble."

From a reader:

Me:  Did you see the Sebastopol blog that Nana posted?

Co-worker:  Yes!  I can't wait to read the rest!

Me:  Did you see the piece about the 8th graders at Waldorf wearing their adult onesies to school?

Co-worker (deadpan):  No... that must have happened at the lesser Waldorf.  Totally sounds like a Sun Ridge thing...

My sister and I were texting about the (nineties) song "Lightning Crashes."
Candra:  "YES. Totally know that video.  It's really rich with symbolism and cats!!  lol
And bald headed angels.
Not to be confused with bald headed eagles, as either could be a spirit guide."

A woman I don't know well told me I reveal a lot of personal things in my blog.
Trying to sound undefensive,  I say, "Really?  Like what?"
"That you shop a lot at Whole Foods and Community Market.  That you like to hike and you spend time with your niece."
Rather benign, I think to myself.  I'm relieved as I thought I was going to be called out on my Rebbl drink addiction.

I heard this at least three times in the past few days:  "There's a whole lot of retrograde going on right now."  (If you don't know what this is in reference to, just ask someone you are standing by at the grocery store or post office and chances are they will know something about it.)


License plates:
OCEAN HI
BORDAUX
GRP VYN
DRV NICER
FYI FYI






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Massage Reiki, CPA

An owner of a small shop in Sebastopol confided to me, "I really want to support local artists.  But some people come in and show me what is basically their art therapy for them.  And I'm like, 'I'm sure this was very meaningful for you... but nobody is going to buy this.'"

A friend of a friend who is a bodyworker was waiting on a corner for someone and glanced across the street.  She thought a sign read "Massage and Reiki" but when she crossed to meet her friend she realized it said "Mackey and Richards."  "Boy was that a Sebastopol moment if there ever was one!" she told me.  "I was thinking it was just another massage sign and it was accountants or something."

"Your psyche knew you were supposed to do something spiritual that week, so it didn't let you sign up for the retreat you thought you wanted to go to."

Going to a BBQ I felt the need to explain that the healthy-ish brownies I made were organic chocolate and gluten-free, but that was all. 
A woman took them, giving me a knowing look.  "Are these 'special' healthy brownies?"
"No," I tried to emphasize.  "Organic, gluten-free and no dairy.  But not special.  Very ordinary.  I don't even think you'll get a sugar high."

Overheard at Harmony Farms by Ginny:
A couple was finishing their purchase of plants, and the clerk asked them if there was anything else he could help them with.  "Yes," said the woman.  "Could you tell us what our purpose in life is?" 
"I wish I could," came the reply, "but we don't have the answer here."

In front of Slice of Life:  "Who invented new age?  I mean, where did it start?  And how?"

I was talking to my neighbor/mishpucha Michael, also known as Venus in Aries (or VIA).  We were talking about astrology, Taurean qualities and recent parties among other things.  Some conversation gems:
"Well you are a Taurus, so obviously you will have a good time tonight."
"What were they thinking throwing a polyamory party during Venus in retrograde?  Of course it didn't go well - that is just asking for it."
VIA went to his box of magical objects to pick out a gift for the birthday party he was heading to (which had many cool items in it).  He picked up three crystal stones and he was deciding which one to take.  As a joke I said, "Why don't you hold them in front of the salt lamp and see which one levitates?"
So he walked over to a lamp to do this, and his girlfriend said, "No, that's the citrine lamp.  Cami was talking about the salt lamp."
Sometimes in Sebastopol one has to specify which softly glowing orange lamp you are referring to.


License plates:
RETRO VW
LLLIGHT
LGHT SPK
BEALWYS

Sol purpose

Overheard at Many Rivers bookstore:  "From a chakra perspective..."

I was making a meal for someone.  I asked if he could have gluten. 
Yes. 
I asked if he eats dairy. 
Yes. 
Was it okay for me to use almond or coconut milk? 
I got a bit of a strange look.  He nodded.
I asked if he was okay with a natural sweetener. 
I got an even stranger look.  Now he was just staring at me.
Me:  "Okay, I'm sorry.  I've been living in Sebastopol for a while!  I forget not everybody cares about these things!"

Shopping in Sebastopol When You Are Not From Sebastopol (the sequel)
"I don't recognize anything in the drink section!  I wouldn't feel comfortable drinking anything in the drink case here.  I don't even understand what the name of these drinks are!!"

At Community Market: 
"How does it feel to be surrounded by three guys with beards?"
"I support male bonding.  Especially when all the men are bearded."

An acquaintance told me her neighbor had left her job and was musing one morning, "I don't know what my purpose is.  Maybe to invent a new kombucha flavor?"

Me:  "... she is very Sebastopol."
My coworker, laughing:  "I have never heard Sebastopol used as an adjective!  I've used west county as an adjective, as in 'he is too west county for me to go out with'..."

First World Problems
Local complaint:  "I was not ready for the [two hour] spa treatments when the massage therapist knocked on the door.  Next time could they wait one minute longer before knocking?"

Texts of the week:
From my co-worker:  "I think we could test theories about hipster beards at Renegade Coffee in Sebasty."
A text my sister received:  "I'm in Sebastopol hell!!  None of the Ben and Jerry's have dairy in them!!!"


License plates:
BACON
SOLCRAFT
SOL RISE
CAFIEND * 



* (good one)






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Tell me your thoughts on fracking

On my way into Starbucks a guy walking across the parking lot wearing a jester hat and a large golden ankk around his neck flips his dreds and says, "Morning, yo..."  Somehow the two words are condensed into one syllable.
#morninghi(gh)

"You really don't like kombucha?"
"No, it tastes like flavored beer.  Mixed with dirt."

Posted to my page:
"I have to share my experience at Friendly Joe's on the Sebastopol Plaza this morning with you! The next woman in line, after I got my delicious locally roasted coffee drink, brought her own mug (as I did also of course!) but it was already full - the barista turned to her coworker and said, 'she brought her own sheep milk, we can use this, right?'!  I thought to myself only in Sebastopol..."

I ran into someone who lives elsewhere in the county.  Within four minutes of conversation he had talked about a yoga workshop, restorative yoga, vinyasa flow and a meditation CD. 
Me:  "How is it you don't live in Sebastopol?"

Shopping at Community Market When You Are Not From Here
"There are no normal drinks here!  I think that there is no Coke or soft drinks in all of Sebastopol."

Putting away props after yoga, the woman next to me says, "How are you moving so fast?  I just want to sit here."
"I'm moving quickly because I'm trying to get to Whole Foods before it closes.  You should take your time!"
She looks at me solemnly.  "Don't let Whole Foods kill your yoga buzz."

Bumper sticker:
KEEP CALM AND GET IN THE VORTEX

Rental interviews in West County ...
So, you looking to put down roots for awhile?  We're a pretty mellow household, wanting the same in a renter along with some stability.  Do you wear perfume?  Do you cook beef?  Do you use only organic cleaning products?  Tell me your thoughts on fracking.  Are you willing to wear a pussy hat to stay warm because we don't use the heater on account of fracking, naturally.  How do you feel about kombucha enemas?  Would you be open to communal kombucha enemas as a way to solidify our connection as co-creators in housing?  Oh, by the way, think you can not be here most of the time?  That would be great...
(status update of the week, by Shannon)


License plates:
WEST CO
INTUITED
DHARMA
DBL HAPI

Natural stimulants

Me:  "There is more chocolate than normal right now because of Valentine's day.  Chocolate is a big thing in west county!" 
My sister:  "Well, apparently.  There are ceremonies about it."

Discussing HailMerry chocolate tarts: 
"I am a good source for addictive vegan chocolate."

A woman and I in line at Whole Foods noticed we both had the same Rebbl chocolate drink.  She explained she just got out of a yoga class and needed something to jack her up a bit so she could get some things done.  "If I don't have one of these after yoga I go home and I'm just a blob."  She also likes to drink them when she does the treadmill.
(And I've written many a blog post after a Rebbl mocha nightcap.)

A worker at Starbucks disclosed that one morning she walked up to work listening to a guy delivering a diatribe to his friend regarding the "Support Organic Farms" bumper sticker on a truck.  "How can someone with this sticker be coming to Starbucks?!"  He listed multiple reasons why this was not okay.
His friend:  "Maybe they aren't here for Starbucks.  Maybe they are going to the physical therapy place or the Kefiry." 
Pause.  "That could be true."
(#needlesstirades)

From one of my community moles:
"I will shop at CVS.  Already have.  Probably have my hood up so I don't get tarred and feathered by the progressives.  I'd hate to get run out of town by people who haven't lived here as long as I have."

On a t-shirt: 
"got radiance?"

Chatting with someone at Milk and Honey, he told me a visitor of his roommate's asked where a mall was.  He directed her to The Barlow.  "No, a real mall," she emphasized.
"I was like, 'Honey, you're in Sebastopol.  We don't have a McDonald's, a Chili's or even a Trader Joe's.  The closest you'll get to a mall is standing in line for the bathroom at Whole Foods during farmers market."

"If I hear one more person who drives a nice Prius tell me they're broke I'm going to lose it."

I did want to clarify from my previous post that the "Minds of Serial Killers" was not a joke.  It has come up on the side of my Sebastoblog Facebook page several times as "People who like Sebastoblog also like..." 
(I'm not saying I understand it.  Explanations welcome.)







www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/