Essential desk items

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks, especially if their sun sign is Cancer...."

"I can recommend a good chiropractor for you.  I mean clearly there are ten thousand chiropractors and massage therapists and practitioners, etc. in Sebastopol.  But let me know if you need a recommendation." 

From a reader:  "I have a new renter on my property.  If you followed her around one day a month you'd have enough for five blogs.  She is over-the-top Sebastopol, peace/love/harmony/vibrations... everything is from divine source/can you hold my rose quartz while I look for my meditation cushion?"

Elementary school child describing a classmate:  "He's got one really big marker in his desk.  The biggest marker I've ever seen!"
"What else is in his desk?"
"A notebook for his marker.  And essential oils."

ISO energetically clean crystal

Regarding a Halloween costume:
"He was a knight.  Although in this picture he looks more like a 70s love child."

"My cousin is hosting Thanksgiving dinner [in Sebastopol].  The thread of seven or eight people that are coming is really comical.  People freaking on both sides of the issue of vegetarian options.  But the funniest thing is one person not very happy there will be bulgur at the dinner.  'Bulgur has no place at a Thanksgiving meal!!  This is not Whole Foods!'"

Vintage post:

(In Santa Cruz)  A couple who looked like they could have walked out of the crystal shop on Main Street chimed in.  They had lived near Calistoga at one point and loved visiting Sebastopol.  "The best Thanksgiving dinner I ever had was in Sebastopol," the man informed me.  "Although it was actually vegetarian.  And the pretend turkey didn't cook all the way through.  And we had more Indian food than American food - but what a great feast."

"Yay, we got it done!  And one day before mercury goes retrograde, thank god!"

Hashtag of the week: 
#mercuryretrogradefuckery

Happy water

When planning a dinner party in Sebastopol and one guest says she prefers water.  The host replies:  "I'll get de-ionized glacier water that has been osmosisized back through an artesian spring."

Facebook post:  
When a woman meets a SNAG and sees through his schtik - "Namaste away from me!"

From a blog reader:  "I don't think of my neighborhood as being 'too Sebastopol' or anything.  But I picked my daughter up as she walked home from school and she complained her friends were making fun of her because she didn't know what triangle pose was.  Then I tell her we have a lot of apples and I am explaining to her how we can make applesauce.  She asks me, 'But mom, I need to know.  Are the apples organic?'"

A co-worker hosted a baby shower for a friend just outside of Sebastopol.  She had a shelf for everyone to leave their water as there was an hour long ceremony as part of the gathering.  She noticed as she walked into the studio for the ceremony there were at least twenty water bottles lined up, none of them plastic and most of them glass.  A few had slices of lemon or rose petals or mint.  Some of the glass water bottles had drawings such as flowers or words that had been written.  WELL-BEING.  CALM.  HAPPINESS.  One had a handwritten reminder to its owner:  Hydration is healthy.  When she told me about this she had to admit, “It was the most caring group of water bottles I have ever seen.”  

"I thought, he's probably a decent guy.  I mean, he has dreads."
 

"And there you have it.  As The World Turns in polyamorous Sebastopol."

According to a local wine shop, the west county questions people have asked the proprietor when buying a bottle of wine:
 What would be good for a solstice ritual?
 What do you suggest for a paleo-vegan dinner?
 What is a good dessert wine for sugar-free desserts?
 Do you have gluten-free wine?
 I'm going to soak in the hot tub and do art therapy, any recommendations?

Vintage post and my favorite Halloween costume:
A mermaid, a ladybug and a boy in a cardboard box came over to us.  The boy in the box also had plastic bottles hanging off of him.  He held up a sign.  "Recycling in action."  You had to love it - not just recycling, recycling in action.
  

Hard core yoga breaks

"My diffuser hits a home run again."

Regarding the Sebastopol Community Center:
"All of the dance classes are Ecstatic, universal peace, silent disco, sweat your prayers... where's a good ol' ballroom dance??"

"It sounded so Sebastopol, 'honoring' something that was done a long time ago.  It's okay to give the real reason!  It's like there doesn't have to be a spiritual reason to make it all sound okay."

At a music event, to a group of her west county friends:  "I know it's not healthy!  Let me eat my corn dog in peace!"

"There is too much going on and I'm emotionally, mentally and astrologically inundated.  Please don't bother me until Mercury goes direct."

During a staff meeting:  "Can we stop passing essential oils around?  It's very distracting."

Comment on a local thread:
"Can I just plant a garden?  Does it have to be a big political statement?"
Reply:  "Everything around here is a big statement!!  I drive a PRIUS.  My son goes to an ALTERNATIVE school.  This honey isn't LOCAL!  Maybe I wanna drive my not-a-hybrid Chevy and buy honey from Canada and eat it with a bunch of margarine!!" 🤣

"I work for a company in Sebastopol.  So things like yoga and organic tea come up a lot.  It's a west county group for sure.  One day there was a long training.  We decided to take a 45 minute break at one point and half the employees went into the lunch area and the other half went to do a 'yoga breather.'  I had to go retrieve my notebook and went into the room with the yogis.  I expected to see a few of them stretching or whatever.  I was surprised walking in to see yoga mats, an online yoga class on a computer in the corner and co-workers doing triangle pose and a few peeps doing headstands against the wall.  I thought, Okay, they are not messing around!"


Vintage blog quote:
At a local school, on a board with some photos from movies is a picture of Glinda the Good Witch (from The Wizard of Oz).  On a post-it under the picture it reads:  "Glinda is from Sebastopol."








Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times & News
http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog-celestial-occurrences/article_45c27bb6-95b9-11e8-ae57-af0cc51a20e7.html

Unapologetic vibe

"We are helping people connect with their soul.  So we can charge more for that."

"It's a new moon, full moon, waning moon, super moon.  Always something major!  Throw in an eclipse or a planet going retrograde.  You can't hide from astrology around here."

ISO/take:  does anyone in Sebastopol have a faceted crystal sphere they don't need?  Trying to feng shui my son's room.

My friend overheard at the library:  "Well, I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.  But there is a difference between throwing food on a pile and composting!"

At the Barlow:  "I don't have time to explain chakras to you."

West county Facebook post of the week:

[In a hair salon] "Conversation at the shampoo station...

The woman next to me is talking with her hairdresser. Her hairdresser remarks how her hair is so thick. Woman responds: 'My spirit animal is an otter' and proceeds to tell various interesting facts about otters and their dense fur.

I turn to her and say, 'I like how you know your spirit animal!'

Her hairdresser, an energetic young man, adds, 'I think mine must be a Jack Russell.'

I love Sonoma County."

A woman conveyed to me she likes the focus on healthy living in Sebastopol.  “Of course some people take it too far.  They can be rather judgmental.  I remember my daughter being told at school that her homemade brownies were unhealthy because they had sugar in them.  When she told me I thought, ‘Well, of course they have sugar!  They’re brownies!’”

“There’s kind of an underground new age vibe in a lot of places.  You just have to find the right alternative bookstore and you’ll see a bulletin board like the one here at Whole Foods.  You know, with names of massage therapists and healers and workshops about breath work or fermenting your own food.  But what is unique about Sebastopol is that it is right out in the open.  You don’t have to search for it.  It’s right in your face.  Nobody is apologizing about it.
And you don’t have to believe in reiki, but if you want a reiki session it’s sure not hard to find.”

"As a West Country Tantric Priestess who uses biodegradable lube produced compassionately from the gland secretions of free-range, grass-fed bovines, who has made the ethical choice to let my dollars speak as my vote by purchasing compostable sex toys hand-crafted by local artisans out of organic potatoes, I am only interested in sustainable orgasms."
~Facebook post/Shannon Elsom

Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times

http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog-land-of-the-goddess/article_4aec03c6-1cd0-11e8-a2b6-7b9c0bb65b4b.html

Non-crucial crosswalks

Spring Poem
It's equinox
Time for a detox
New beginnings & dreams
Lots of shakes with greens
Release rather than let things fester
Gather many eggs for Eostre.

A text from my sister:
I feel like this sounds so dramatic, but I genuinely went into a state of shock when she told me I had Scorpio rising.
Omg - birth certificate in hand- I'm a scorp rising???!!!  This is crazy!!!  Wow. It's like I don't even know myself anymore. Lol

"Around here you don't refer to chocolate as cocoa.  You say cacao."

These past few weeks on Facebook the blog has been writing itself:

"Be aware of mercury in retrograde..... even if you don't believe in it.... it will still nail you!!"

"Locked my keys in the car.  Got them back, lost them at work.  Had to have my boyfriend drop off the extra set, he dropped off condo keys by mistake.  Have spent an hour looking for them at work and can't find them.  I can't text my boyfriend because when he dropped off the wrong keys he left his phone here. 
It wouldn't be mercury in retrograde without a keys debacle.  Happens every time!"

"I like to play a game every time I go to Sebastopol. Its called: 'Count How Many White Dudes Walk Into Traffic/In Front Of My Car Without Looking.' They never stop or look back. EVER. They just mosey on like they own the world. Seriously. Loads of them, all ages. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Its almost like a video game, just way more obnoxious."
Comments:
   "White chicks too!  Belly dancing through the streets."
   "I have a game that I play in Sebastopol too.  It's called spot the old people that dress like toddlers in homemade pajamas who also wear weird knit hats.  It's all day entertainment."
   "Extra points if they have dreadlocks"
   "So many mornings, back when we lived in Sebastopol when I'd be rushing to get to work, stop for some breakfast at that Whole Foods and inevitably be slowed down by the zillions of hippies who seemingly had nowhere to be except the Sebastopol Whole Foods allllll damn day, and no spatial awareness about where their shopping carts/bodies might be."
   "Sebastopol Whole Foods is one of the most infuriating places on the planet, unless you just walked out of a restorative yoga class and you’re high and you don’t have anywhere you need to be for the rest of the day...."

   "I saw two Priuses crash into each other going 2 miles an hour in the Whole Foods parking lot..."

   "In Sebastopol there seems to be an inverse relationship between how present one is with their inner self to how oblivious one is outwardly...."

"Only in Sebastopol can one be surrounded by animal totems in an ER room!
Ha!"

Sebastoblogette

From one of my community moles:
It is Super Bowl Sunday and we are at Community Market watching the Super Bowl in the bar.
This guy with no shirt on but several necklaces offered a friend a beer from his 6-pack.  She asked if it was gluten free.  He said, “I’m not anything free, I’m just Free.”
Next thing out of his mouth was, “I don’t go to doctors.”

"I'm really stressed.  I've been snorting lavender oil like there is no tomorrow."

Local Facebook post: 
"Where can I get yoga pants around here?
Scratch that - dumb question!  Where can I get yoga pants that aren't 70 dollars??"

Vintage vignette, in honor of equinox~

Coaches Corner a few years ago, mid-March:

Young woman:  "What date is Easter?"

Guy:  "It's different every year."

Young woman:  "But why?"

Guy:  "I have no idea."

Second woman, on a treadmill:  "It's the first Sunday after the first full moon after equinox."

Both stare at second woman blankly.  Finally the guy says, "Oh.  Really?  Is that true?"

Second woman, "Yes, really.  I don't make these things up."  She walks away.

Young woman:  "You're all about equinox, how come you didn't know that?"

Guy:  "I like solstice, not equinox."

Young woman:  "Isn't it, like, the same thing?"

Exasperated sigh.  "Um.... no, it isn't."

In a newsletter:  "In a strange twist of fate, April Fool's day and Easter are on the same day, during Mercury retrograde.  Be careful when you open plastic eggs."

Bumper sticker (thank you Alice W.):
My other car is a yoga mat.
I asked three Sebastopol people what they thought this meant
Sebastopudlian #1:  When you do yoga you do go on a journey.
Sebastopudlian #2:  I have no earthly idea.  I have no cosmic idea either. 
Sebastopudlian #3:  I am a Sebastopol dweller so strapped for money I can't afford a second car, but I do own a yoga mat.

Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times
http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog-land-of-the-goddess/article_4aec03c6-1cd0-11e8-a2b6-7b9c0bb65b4b.html

Pricey coconut milk

"I had family over for a Christmas party and hired a massage therapist from Calistoga to come do massage.  She arrived without her bag and asked where she could go in town to buy some massage oil.  I started to suggest a few places, when my sister-in-law piped up, 'Oh, believe me.  There is no shortage of massage oil in Sebastopol!  You could probably buy it from somebody on the street!'"

A shopper at the Barlow telling me:  "Hung out at my friend's house the day after Christmas.  Their seven year old showing me and also naming all the different kinds of crystals there are."

I am playing kids Twister with my niece. I remark, "You are really good at this!"
"Well, yeah.  It's kind of like doing yoga."

At a local coffeehouse a woman whispers, "That's not a cheap drink!"
"Yes," her friend informs her.  "Being vegan is expensive."

"There is a party going on, and it's ended up being more men than women.  I'm a little worried - I don't want it to turn into an extra-testosterone evening."
"The men coming are pretty in touch with their female side.  I doubt it'll be an issue."

Outside of Copperfield's:  "We cannot just get a crystal.  It has to be fluorite.  She made that very clear."

A New Year's eve text:  "I'm at Whole Foods.  Not too many others around.  Just me and the ecstatic dancers."

"There is a group of us getting together to manifest good energy/intentions for the new year, reflect on our path and what we want to release for 2017.  Bring together good energy and ring in good intentions for 2018!"
"I can't think of anything I'd like to do less than that."

T-shirt of the week:
Conscious Cannabis


Local license plates:
ONE SKY
SCAMPR
STR G8
AB DIVN






Shout out to Jaiyen Spa.  Wonderful Thai massage and reflexology. 
http://www.jaiyenspa.com/