Thursday, March 30, 2017

Massage Reiki, CPA

An owner of a small shop in Sebastopol confided to me, "I really want to support local artists.  But some people come in and show me what is basically their art therapy for them.  And I'm like, 'I'm sure this was very meaningful for you... but nobody is going to buy this.'"

A friend of a friend who is a bodyworker was waiting on a corner for someone and glanced across the street.  She thought a sign read "Massage and Reiki" but when she crossed to meet her friend she realized it said "Mackey and Richards."  "Boy was that a Sebastopol moment if there ever was one!" she told me.  "I was thinking it was just another massage sign and it was accountants or something."

"Your psyche knew you were supposed to do something spiritual that week, so it didn't let you sign up for the retreat you thought you wanted to go to."

Going to a BBQ I felt the need to explain that the healthy-ish brownies I made were organic chocolate and gluten-free, but that was all. 
A woman took them, giving me a knowing look.  "Are these 'special' healthy brownies?"
"No," I tried to emphasize.  "Organic, gluten-free and no dairy.  But not special.  Very ordinary.  I don't even think you'll get a sugar high."

Overheard at Harmony Farms by Ginny:
A couple was finishing their purchase of plants, and the clerk asked them if there was anything else he could help them with.  "Yes," said the woman.  "Could you tell us what our purpose in life is?" 
"I wish I could," came the reply, "but we don't have the answer here."

In front of Slice of Life:  "Who invented new age?  I mean, where did it start?  And how?"

I was talking to my neighbor/mishpucha Michael, also known as Venus in Aries (or VIA).  We were talking about astrology, Taurean qualities and recent parties among other things.  Some conversation gems:
"Well you are a Taurus, so obviously you will have a good time tonight."
"What were they thinking throwing a polyamory party during Venus in retrograde?  Of course it didn't go well - that is just asking for it."
VIA went to his box of magical objects to pick out a gift for the birthday party he was heading to (which had many cool items in it).  He picked up three crystal stones and he was deciding which one to take.  As a joke I said, "Why don't you hold them in front of the salt lamp and see which one levitates?"
So he walked over to a lamp to do this, and his girlfriend said, "No, that's the citrine lamp.  Cami was talking about the salt lamp."
Sometimes in Sebastopol one has to specify which softly glowing orange lamp you are referring to.


License plates:
RETRO VW
LLLIGHT
LGHT SPK
BE💜ALWYS
















Saturday, March 11, 2017

Sol purpose

Overheard at Many Rivers bookstore:  "From a chakra perspective..."

I was making a meal for someone.  I asked if he could have gluten. 
Yes. 
I asked if he eats dairy. 
Yes. 
Was it okay for me to use almond or coconut milk? 
I got a bit of a strange look.  He nodded.
I asked if he was okay with a natural sweetener. 
I got an even stranger look.  Now he was just staring at me.
Me:  "Okay, I'm sorry.  I've been living in Sebastopol for a while!  I forget not everybody cares about these things!"

Shopping in Sebastopol When You Are Not From Sebastopol (the sequel)
"I don't recognize anything in the drink section!  I wouldn't feel comfortable drinking anything in the drink case here.  I don't even understand what the name of these drinks are!!"

At Community Market: 
"How does it feel to be surrounded by three guys with beards?"
"I support male bonding.  Especially when all the men are bearded."

An acquaintance told me her neighbor had left her job and was musing one morning, "I don't know what my purpose is.  Maybe to invent a new kombucha flavor?"

Me:  "... she is very Sebastopol."
My coworker, laughing:  "I have never heard Sebastopol used as an adjective!  I've used west county as an adjective, as in 'he is too west county for me to go out with'..."

First World Problems
Local complaint:  "I was not ready for the [two hour] spa treatments when the massage therapist knocked on the door.  Next time could they wait one minute longer before knocking?"

Texts of the week:
From my co-worker:  "I think we could test theories about hipster beards at Renegade Coffee in Sebasty."
A text my sister received:  "I'm in Sebastopol hell!!  None of the Ben and Jerry's have dairy in them!!!"


License plates:
💜BACON
SOLCRAFT
SOL RISE
CAFIEND * 



* (good one)






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