Gravenstein ghetto

While in line at Whole Foods, a boy to his mother:
"Can we get candy canes?"
"Absolutely no candy canes."
"But mom, they're organic."

My sister replying to my complaint of a local restaurant that had raised its prices, again.  "I'm surprised some hipster restaurant hasn't added lemon or cucumber to water and started charging extra for water!"

More Sebastotexts:

  >All these shoppers! I can't find f-ing parking, not even for yoga!!

  >That sign is so tacky!!  Gravenstein doesn't need help to look more ghetto!

  >There are some good options today at the hot bar but I don't think you've heard of most of them.

  >You should be able to find us.  Just look for the people in yoga attire doing tai chi by the parking lot.

  >I forgot and put some sour cream in it. Added lots of spices to throw off the taste. 
  >Marge is not going to be happy about that.
  >Dessert got a little dairy in it.  So sue me.

A woman I took a class with emailed me.  "When I first moved here I'd never heard of quinoa.  I saw it at the deli and at a school pot luck for mothers and had no idea what it was.  Then someone made a grain dish with wheat berries and something called amaranth, I thought I'd landed on another planet.  Folks sprinkled things on top of pizza like pumpkin seeds and talked about papaya tablets to help digestion.  There was some culture shock.  Ten years later I go to a Thanksgiving pot luck, all vegetarian and mostly vegan.  I bring quinoa and bean salad with seaweed shavings on top I made while sipping Revive.  Yes I've lived here for a while.  West county changes you."

As I was paying for something at Community Market, a gentleman behind me informed the cashier,
"Yes, I'm back.  To get salad for dessert.  Way too healthy... don't tell my wife."

"They'll believe me.  They'll say, 'He teaches yoga - he wouldn't lie about anything.'"

A few years ago on Christmas Eve as I was walking up to Whole Body a woman exited, cheerily calling out, "Merry whatever!" 
Holiday wishes west county-style.


License plates:
TRUE SKY
SHARXX
MERIT
SNP DRGN







www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Rebbl with a cause

At a pot luck dinner:  "Paleo/vegan/wheat-free diets!  I can't keep track of all of them!"

"I accidentally ended up at the tree lighting ceremony.  But I was really trying to go to yoga."

"I don't know how I managed to pull this off... but I'm dressed like a conservative hippie."

A Facebook lamentation about being outside of Sonoma County on a trip: 
"I miss my lemon-scented candles.  I miss organic salads.  And tasty produce and non-chemical soap and talking to people about good enzymes.  I know I sound like a Whole Foods commercial right now."

I was complaining to a friend over dinner about a waiter at a local restaurant.  She replied, "Was he the Sebastopol type who stares at you blankly and doesn't really listen or take your order, and then goes off and doesn't come back for a long time?"

On a trail I was behind two women discussing local dancing.  One was explaining the difference between ecstatic dance, Sweat Your Prayers and Soul Motion.  And the different ecstatic dance tribes and what to expect at each.  I didn't hear which group she was referring to, but at one point she cautioned, "And you don't want to end up there.  A bunch of old people jumping around."

"Sebastopol:  where someone will complain about how much popcorn costs but pay $9 for a loaf of bread."

In honor of holiday shopping, vintage blog moment:
At a crystal store the owner showed me some jewelry pieces.  One had seven colors, each corresponding to a chakra.  As she was explaining it to me, I asked what she said to people who don't know about chakras.  "Well, if they are gay then I say, 'Gay pride!'  If they aren't gay and don't know what chakras are, then I just say, 'Look, it's a pretty rainbow.'"

Bumper sticker of the week:
Back off,
I'm a goddess!

License plates:
1 LUUV
FLY GRL
PIXI DST
JST FAB
WISDOM





Shout out to Rebbl who is donating 25 cents per drink sold in northern California through mid-December toward assistance to fire victims.  (Always nice when my addiction can also help others.)
http://rebbl.co/

BYOK

At a small shop in the Barlow:
"Check out this very hippie version of Adam and Eve."

Chatting at Community Market, I hear about a dinner group in a small neighborhood.  The woman explains to me, "After doing dinners together twice a month for a while we realized there were three very different types of meals.  We had the hometown grill families.  We had the hummus and veggie plate families.  And then the extreme vegan meals that are usually wheat- and sugar free too.  You know, where you're still hungry after.  We had to design a system depending on who was hosting."  She showed me a group email:
D = desserts will have sugar
M = if you want meat/poultry you have to provide your own
V = if you want vegetarian option, have to provide your own
VP [veggie protein] = protein will be nuts, tahini, tempeh, etc.
NS = do not give children anything with sugar
W = wine only, any fancy health drinks like Kombucha... BYO

At the end of a friend's text:
"We meet every third Wed.  And by meet I mean everyone is so cheap & won't pitch in ten bucks a month, so we meet at Community Market.  Because, ya know, it's Sebastopol."

On top of spaghetti
all covered with ghee
I lost my poor tofu
when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table
and onto the floor
And then my poor tofu
rolled out the front door.

Somewhere in downtown: 
"I don't need an excuse to go shopping.  I could do it everyday."
"The only thing that will get me shopping is having yoga pants with so many holes I can't wear them any more."

I was tagged in a post by a woman who did a week-long retreat somewhere in the hills of west county:
"Such a lovely vacation.  Really delicious food.  Although it would have been nice to have an option of doing something without it being consciousness-raising or healing or meaningfully life-changing.  Is it ok to do a walk on the property without having to meditate?  Even in town, talking to a cashier about carrots that led to veganism saving the world."

A Sunday school teacher sent me the following:  "We are talking at the end of class about good and evil... kids saying who is good and who is bad.  Evildoers are robbers, thieves, murderers.  I practically fell off the chair laughing when a boy says very seriously, 'The person who built the new CVS.'"


License plates:
JEDI MOM
JOY XX
OH ROCKS
NVR NRML
USED EWE






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Goddess selection

You know you are in west county when someone describes the glow of the fires as orange "like a Himalayan salt lamp."

A friend lives in an area which had a voluntary evacuation and she left for nearly a week with her son.  On the way to Sebastopol she was telling him about the family they were going to stay with.  He was quiet and finally she asked what was bothering him, wondering if he was worried about their house or how long he would be out of school.
"If it's the family I think it is, they aren't going to let us eat any McDonald's or junk food, are they?"

A co-worker, stressed about talking to some people on the phone:  "Ahhhh, these people are going to make me inhale eucalyptus oil!"

As I was leaving Whole Foods, a mom siting on a bench telling her son:  "I really don't appreciate having tempeh thrown at me."

On a thread for mothers:  "My daughter wants to be a YOGA MUMMY for Halloween.  I have no idea why.  Suggestions??"

Code phrase for purchasing alcohol in Sebastopol:  I need to make tinctures.

Two women on a bench at the Farmers Market.  They are conversing about the music.  One remarks, "There must be a schedule of it somewhere."
"I don't know.  That might be way too organized for Sebastopol."

My young niece and I were looking for a parking space on a crowded weekend morning.  I tell her, "We need to ask the parking goddess to help us!  Who should we ask?"  Having spent the first four years of her life at Milk & Honey she is no stranger to the goddess.  She chose Lakshmi.  So we implore her to help us find parking.  After another five minutes of driving around, I slow down thinking someone is leaving but it turns out they were not. 
"Well, this isn't working!" I observe absently.
She says matter-of-factly, "Um, why don't we try Kwan Yin?"
(Right after her suggestion a space opens up.)


License plates:
BB OTTR
OM JJ MA
UNDADOG
ZINALOT



~Slice of Life is offering free meals to evacuees and those affected by the fire~

If you are an evacuee or a first responder please come in for a free meal or you can pay whatever you are able to. We put two thousand dollars on a gift card for those affected. The gift card is at the register for anyone to use no questions asked. If you want to donate you can add money to the gift card. If your not in the area and you want to donate meals/add money to the card over the phone please call between 11-12 or 3-5 to do so. Our community is in our hearts. 💜 -Keith & Chloe

https://www.thesliceoflife.com/

Many thanks to the firefighters, first responders, shelter volunteers and all those who donated time, money or services to help those affected by and fighting the fires!   

Spiritual transport

You've lived in Sebastopol for a long time when you receive a text from someone in an ambulance, and you believe you read they are "in an abundance..."  I was thinking, an abundance of what?

A comment on Sebastoblog's sister column (about consciousness):
Don't forget my personal favorite "Conscious Roommate Wanted."  I can never decide whether that sets the bar too high, or too low!

In Whole Foods:  "We can't bring her pop tarts made with acai berries.  She's never going to go for that!"

Facebook status updates: 
"You know how you know you live in Sebastopol?  Wherever you go it smells like pot and patchouli oil."
"Chillin' on my bench downtown watchin' this old hippie try to light his joint with a magnifying glass.  Only in Sebastopol..."
(Apparently he was successful.)

A text to a local after her brother-in-law visited:  "Land of the hipsters, wine tasters and last stand of the old school hippies."

A friend, having tried to do a voice group text, glanced down frustrated at the mangled names of her co-workers.  "Goddamn Sebastopol and all of these hippie names!"

My co-worker (decidedly un-west county) informed everyone he had reached "a new low" by driving through Sebastopol in a Prius.

"I cannot do math, I just got out of yoga."
"I can't really do math any time."
"I'm fine with math, except right after yoga.  I also can't handle listening to NPR."

I was chatting with a woman while waiting outside a class for my niece.  The conversation turned to local preschools and kindergarten.  She noted at one point, "It's like it becomes a political statement. 'We are Waldorf.  We are not Waldorf.'  Do we really have to figure all that out by the age of three?!"


License plates:
INSPYR U
DUK DWN
RD HAWK
AGL WINGS






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Mere recycling

At Community Market:
"If I hear one more time that Mercury is in retrograde!  I don't want to know.  Tell me when it's OUT of retrograde!"

On Facebook:
"Conscious Ink Manifestation Tattoos feature empowering messages & imagery designed to support you in manifesting your deepest desires!"

A therapist told me about a west county couple who came to see her when she was an intern.  Often the issues between partners are about money or housework or childcare, but this couple caught her off guard when the husband complained, "She just meditates too much.  It's one of the reasons we're here.  It's really become a problem."

"One thing I've learned living here, hippies are not Buddhists.  They have a lot in common but when it comes to bugs and flies, they'll leave their doors open all day and don't care that there are dead flies all over the kitchen.  I tried to explain to [my neighbor] that maybe you shouldn't do something that will end up killing a lot of flies, and he just stared at me, like 'what are you talking about?'  But they don't like it if you bring carrots to a pot luck that aren't organic."

On looking for housing:  "How far does the line go?  You shouldn't be discriminated against for race, religion, etc.  But in Sebastopol you could be discriminated against astrologically.  You could not get housing because you're not the right sign.  'Sorry, can't rent to an Aries.'"

According to a woman I ran into who I knew years ago, it is annoying to have a guy mansplain to you.  However, it is even more annoying to have a guy holy-mansplain.  It's a double whammy, the sexist patronizing coupled with the condescending, "I'm more evolved than thou and therefore must explain to you why you have not evolved as far as I have because you are merely recycling instead of using your own container.  And did I mention how spiritual I am?"

The day after the eclipse I was in a downtown store where a few people were sharing eclipse stories.  A cashier remarked, "Well, it's Sebastopol so it brought a lot of crazies out."
"I don't think you need an eclipse to bring out the crazies around here."


License plates:
WHRLWND
H2O GOD
I GOT THS
MSDMNR

Shout out to Golden Gear Automotive (next to the post office).  Reasonable and good customer service.
https://www.yelp.com/biz/golden-gear-automotive-sebastopol

Intentional and repurposed

The webmaster at Sonoma West Times who sends out a weekly newsletter gets these Sebastopudlian auto responses from people on vacation:
"Autoresponse - off the grid for a bit."
"Away on retreat."

And from a Forestville correspondent:
A few nights ago I got a late night call from a friend who lives a few doors down. For several weeks, she had been living with the knowledge that there was a large black widow spider making itself at home in her guest bathroom. As a Buddhist, she was unwilling to kill it, but she was too scared to play catch and release. Feeling heroic, I donned my elbow length rose-pruning gloves and grabbed a large yogurt container and walked down to her house through the darkness. I could see why she was alarmed. The spider was huge and glistening black and had spun its nice thick web right in the middle of the bathroom. But it was also in a position close to the floor where I figured I could slam the yogurt container down and slide a thick piece of paper underneath. Which I did, but when scooped it up, there was an unfortunate tell-tale smear on the tile.
“I have good news and bad news,” I told her sheepishly. “The good news is I caught the spider. The bad news is I think I killed it.”
“That’s OK,” she said kindly. “It’s all about the intention.”
She noted the spider would probably not agree with that spiritual distinction.

Couple at Retrograde, talking to their young boy about all the music festivals he had been to by the age of two.

From one of my community moles, after reading my very conscious column: 
"I love all the 'repurposed' (that's a new one too) words. 
Trying to stay conscious, despite a lack of sleep. 
Trying to sustain as well."

On a page for a fundraiser:
"Could somebody please drop off reusable bags for the picnic?  This would help out a great deal."
A few days later:
"Other bags besides Whole Foods bags please!  That would be APPRECIATED!  It now looks like we are a making a Whole Foods commercial!"

Bumper sticker:
REFRAIN FROM
CONSCIOUSNESS

Kombucha flavor of the week:  tantric turmeric
"People can't just drink kombucha?  It has to be a tantric experience?!  It has to be the best kombucha you've ever had??"

My friend received a text:  "I saw you park and walk toward Starbucks, what in the world is she going to Starbucks for?? That is not like her! She is ANTI-Starbucks!!  Then figured out you were going to the Kefiry. Makes much more sense, so relieved."

A young child says, "I'm watching tv and I'm not allowed to!" pointing to a yoga DVD that is playing in the background.  Waldorf kid gone wild.

T-shirt of the week:
Que Syrah Syrah

License plates:
JST THS
O SNAAP
NT SHDE
OMG GOP





Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times
http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog-conscious/article_87930a7c-786b-11e7-82b5-1b2a305ee841.html

Your purple Prius just gives you away

"I was fine listening to her talk about the group, until she started telling me how enlightened everyone was.  Then my ears automatically shut down.  I've developed this skill by living here for a while."

A text from a friend:  "I'm in Sebastopol getting ready to have lunch and there is a lady at a table passing out samples of a drink called 'How High.'  She says 'it's coffee with super foods' then I heard her telling someone it has essential oils and antioxidants.  Lol.  Only in Sebastopol."

A woman shopping in downtown told me she and her daughter were driving by Screamin' Mimi's and her daughter commented on a Prius parked on the corner.  The mom absently responded something along the lines of, "You're surprised to see a Prius in Sebastopol?"  
To which her daughter replied, "I said I'd never seen a purple Prius, mom.  I know they're all over the place, they're are as many Priuses as trees in Sebastopol!"

Facebook posts:
The most OVERUSED phrase in west county.  "I feel drawn to..."  Second runner up, "Do you feel drawn to...?"

"Orders from Young Living and doTerra arrived on the same day.  
I am so west county!"

Walking through the plaza after getting out of a restorative yoga workshop.  There are several post-Farmers Market straggler groups.  One is drumming.  One is doing slow movement contact yoga/dance (I don't know if this is a thing, I am not sure what to call it).  And then there is the dreadlocked contingency.  

At the Whole Foods deli counter:  "Be careful, those look like burgers.  But they could be veggie patties masquerading as meat."

Word of the week:
aromafave

Chalk graffiti in Sebastopol:  DREAM written on the side of the library.  With a crescent moon next to it.


License plates:
GD GREEF
FESTVAL
B BZZN
1DR N AW (this one took me a moment)







Shout out to Jaiyen Spa (right next to Honey Moon).  Wonderful Thai massage and reflexology. 
http://www.jaiyenspa.com/






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Conscious contraband

A woman went to a yoga workshop which had come highly recommended from a neighbor.  The retreat took place on a beautiful piece of land with large windows in the yoga room over-looking sprawling hills.  Good healthy meals were provided.  The only glitch?  "The yoga teacher kept excusing herself to go in the back and cry."  She learned later the instructor had been engaged and endured a difficult break-up.  Apparently the weekend of the workshop was the same weekend the wedding had been scheduled for.
"She couldn't have picked different dates to do the retreat?" I wondered.
"You would think!  A few people felt too bad for her to ask for her money back, but I had no problem.  I didn't pay three hundred dollars to go watch someone break down practically every time we did child's pose."

A friend of a friend texted me an unusual picture one day.  She knew her thirteen-year old was hoarding something but she wasn't sure what.  She thought it might be cigarettes because he was being secretive about something in his room.  One afternoon she snooped through his closet and discovered a large box hidden behind some clothes.  It was full of unused recyclable and compostable containers.  Dozens of them and all different kinds.  "I know there are worse things a teen could be hiding.  But I just really don't know what to make of it!!"  

From co-workers in our Sebastopol office:
"Should we do a minute of silence to ground?"
"How about two minutes?"
"Whoa!  Gettin' crazy!"
"That's how we administrators get crazy."
"That's how Sebastopolians get crazy!"
This reminded me of being at our main office at my former job, and several of us sort of watching a group of therapists doing a guided mediation at the beginning of their meeting.  It had been going on for over ten minutes.  One of our directors hissed, "I can't believe they are all getting paid for this!"

"What's wrong with hugging?"
"Nothing.  It's just when eleven people you don't know hug you at one event, then it gets kind of old."

At my yoga class a fellow classmate and I were talking about dance classes.  Our teacher came in and said facetiously, "Next week, restorative hip hop.  That's a class I do."
Other possible hybrids that were discussed:  Hatha swing, vinyasa salsa and Bikram ballroom dance.

By a food truck at Ives Park last week during the Celtic concert.  My friend and I watch as a worker comes out to the board and erases one word.  We realize it was "vegan" from the "vegan mushroom sandwich" on the menu.  We wonder what would cause the sandwich to lose it's vegan status and then laugh, as it seemed like such a "you know you're in Sebastopol" conversation topic.  (As it turned out, they had run out of vegan bread.)

License plates:
BUDDHA2
AIRGASM
SWEET PE
YES SING

Shout out to Retrograde Coffee on Main Street, many good drinks and pastries

http://www.retrograderoasters.com/

Soda guilt

Near Whole Foods, a woman ends up with a bike beneath her car, and an amped up guy is walking toward her.  My neighbors are convinced there is going to be an altercation as something obviously went down.  The two approach each other, move closer to each other... and hug it out.

Two older women near Slice of Life:
"What are you doing in town today, missy?"
"I'm being a hippy for the day."

"He is a very compassionate-based chef."

A co-worker informed me she couldn't believe how frequently I reference Whole Foods in my blog.
"Yes, I used to say my blog was secretly sponsored by Whole Foods because I mentioned it so often."
"Now you could say co-sponsored by Community Market."
"And sometimes subsidized by Milk & Honey."

Words of the week:
Taroscopes
Namaste'ing

Recently I was at the Rialto behind a woman ordering a large Coke.  She made the comment upon being handed the drink, "I feel guilty I ordered a cola with this row of healthy teas staring up at me."

It was late in the evening and my niece was not tired.  She ran around singing, performing and then attempting yoga.  She told me, "I can't go to sleep, I have to do tree pose one more time!"

"Why are people who always talk about how important it is to be grounded usually so ungrounded?"

"The non-Waldorf crowd in Sebastopol... have to rep-re-sent!"

My yoga teacher in Santa Rosa, (jokingly) mocking me:
"I remember when you first came to yoga.  You were walking around like, I'm from Sebastopol.  So I obviously know more about restorative yoga than anyone here!"

A text thread between two locals discussing a healing circle being held for a mutual friend:
(names changed to protect the dismissed)
We could ask Beth to help.  But of course that's only if she could come and not be stoned.
-Maybe we could ask Sharon?  But that would mean she'd actually have to leave her house.
Maybe Celia?
-No, talk about type A!  She would hijack the whole evening!


License plates:
AYM LOVE
MEDIT8
PIGASYS
ROCK STP

Shout out to Laguna Farm and their wonderful CSA boxes!

http://www.lagunafarm.com/

You know the type

Cashier:  "Would you like a receipt?"
Woman in front of me:  "Yes please.  In case I wonder later how much the fresh turmeric was."

A worker in a local coffee shop told me she talked with a couple visiting from the bay area.  She asked if they liked Sebastopol.  The woman replied, "Yes, it's a cute little town.  But way too many calm people."

"The friendly, mild mannered Analy post-Waldorf type of kid.  Very chill, you know the type."

Elsewhere in the county, several of us are discussing gift possibilities for someone turning 40.  A couple of ideas are thrown out there.  I know the woman likes poetry and is beginning a graduate program.  "What about a Saraswati statue?"  I suggest, referring to the Hindu goddess of knowledge, music and the arts.  The three of them fall silent and stare at me.  "I'm sorry," I apologize, laughing.  "I forgot I'm not in Sebastopol.  Okay, I'll back up.  Has anyone here ever been to Milk and Honey?"  More blank faces.  "All right... has anyone ever heard of Milk & Honey?  Or Hinduism?"

From an acquaintance who works at a pre-school:
This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy had an organic grass-fed burger
This little piggy had none.

1, 2 ... who are you?
3. 4 ... hugs galore
5, 6 ... they're hypocrites
7, 8 ... I can't wait
9, 10 ... to love again!
I asked about the hypocrites.  She responded, "I don't know who 'they' are in 5-6.  I think maybe the neighbors of the family that made this up?  Neighbors who aren't very loving I guess?"

Gwion (local merchant and forest sage) noticed:
"Today in Sebastopol - A young girl, perhaps 4 or 5 years old, stopped to pet the wolf on the mural.  She put her arm around it, pet it and asked what it was looking at." 

"We've got lavender, eucalyptus, peppermint.  All the essential oils greatest hits."

Spiritual bumper stickers:

Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today is a gift.  That's why it's called the present.

License plates:
RVR JOY
BZRD QST
SNOW BLL
MAPL ZIN

It has been suggested to me a number of times to get some local sponsors but I have been reluctant since I believe it's nice to read a blog without ads popping up.  I would like to recommend some local places solely to support local business as my sister was a small business owner for many years.  (I am not receiving anything for these endorsements.) 
My new favorite deli/cafe:
Down to Earth in Cotati
https://www.dtecafe.com

Chocolate yoga

Responding to the previous blog post, a local relayed a story about a small business she used to work for.  Things used to go missing quite often, from tea kettles to diffusers.  One day she and her boss were discussing how they could figure out who took the diffuser and some essential oil.  Her boss suggested, "Let's show up at people's houses unannounced and whosever house smells like sandalwood or patchouli, that is probably the thief!"
#sandalwoodsnatchers

My sister's advice to me regarding bringing a talisman to a gathering:  "Just bring a coin or rock.  Don't stress about it!  Just add some spiritual prayer when you give it.  'This is a rock from Mother Earth.  It comes from the center of a local spiritual vortex (Whole Foods parking lot).'"

An email forwarded to me from a downtown shop:
"Yes the credit card machine is working again.... no personal checks, too many issues.... yes we do need to keep the cash option for all the growers that come in here."

A friend told me about dropping a large bottle of lavender oil on her toes.  "Two of them really hurt and swelled up.  So I got oil from the bottle that I dropped on them, because lavender helps inflammation.  Bottle of oil causes pain/use oil to help the injury.  Kind of herbal zen Buddhist."

"This has been the retrograde of all retrogrades."

A text to my sister on the way to yoga:  "I'm so tired I'm eating dark chocolate to help me wake up. Does it cancel out yoga to down half a chocolate bar on the way there?  Bahaha-yawn..."
And after:  "That was such a good class!  Maybe I should get jacked up on chocolate every week!"

On Facebook, a mini-rant from a Sebastopol mother.
"It doesn't have to be Mother's day to get a massage!!  Look around... you can get a massage because it's a Wednesday.  It doesn't need to be mother's day or a special anniversary or the solstice full moon eclipse.  Go get a massage if you want a massage!"


License plates:
OM AUTO
NT8GRTY
PLUM BOM
GREYTFL


Mother and daughter digging through recycling and making something out of what was found, dubbed by Trini's daughter "the most Sebastopol thing ever."

Sebastoblog has a sister column in Sonoma West Times
http://www.sonomawest.com/sonoma_west_times_and_news/opinion/columns/sebastoblog/article_44bd4804-3115-11e7-9a16-4727e670d0d4.html

Rosemary robbers

A text encounter shown to me:
-We are parked across from the rv w/painted trees and purple dragons on it.
-is this for real?
-Yes....we ARE in Sebastopol, so yes!

A young child in a coffee shop, pointing to a jar of unrefined sugar crystals:  "This is the bad kind of sugar.  This can kill you."

"I knew I'd been living here for a while," a reader relayed in an email, "when I saw a note on the board at school...'Whoever stole the essential oils in Room 4, we want them back!'  And I didn't blink.  Essential oil thieves?  What else is new??"

When Your Yoga Teacher who Lives in Santa Rosa Really Seems Like He is From Sebastopol
(jokingly) "Since there are only two of you tonight we will do an hour of partner yoga eye gazing."

At the Farmers' Market:
"Here are compostable spoons if you need one."
"No thank you.  I have compostable spoons in my car."

Post of the week (on April 20th, if that's not clear): Sebastopol, Ca will be partly cloudy with a smokey haze today. Good time to be out in the 
air would be around 4:20. Just breathe.

(Sebasto-version)
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to thank the sun, and they all go marching down to the ground ...
The ants go marching two by two, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching two by two, the little one stops to say I love you, and they all go marching down to the ground ....
The ants go marching three by three, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching three by three, the little one stops to smile with glee, and they all go marching down to the ground ....
The ants go marching four by four, hurrah! hurrah!
The ants go marching four by four, the little one stops to wave at Thor, and they all go marching down to the ground ....

"Honey, we made it through Venus in retrograde."

"Mercury is so fucking in retrograde right now."


License plates:
FLUFF HD
WYNE PRO
APL RNCH
KAT TALE

Whole lotta retrograde

Me, explaining my blog to someone:  "Do you know what I mean by west county culture?"
Him:  "Yeah.  West county person, west county restaurant.  And there are west county hugs."
"Oh, you know about those?"
"The long hugs, the staring and breathing... it can end up being part massage."

A Whole Foods worker told me he overheard a woman disclose to someone, "I can't have anything with even a tiny bit of cacao.  It's like my gateway drug."

I found an email I sent to someone years ago when I hadn't lived in Sonoma County for very long.  I had spent the day at a pot luck BBQ in Sebastopol.
"I guess it was a BBQ, if you can call it that since everything was vegetarian.  There were five distinctly different kinds of veggie burgers.  And so much granola!!  Literally, I couldn't believe it.  All these different granola concoctions.  I've never been exposed to so many different kinds of seeds in a one setting.  Also they leave food out for hours at a time, and no one seems to care.  Refrigeration is not a big requirement here."

"For sure there is a Sebastopol bubble."
"Yes, I know.  Some people here are definitely in it."
"Some people are proud of it."
Me:  "Some people work hard at cultivating that bubble."

From a reader:

Me:  Did you see the Sebastopol blog that Nana posted?

Co-worker:  Yes!  I can't wait to read the rest!

Me:  Did you see the piece about the 8th graders at Waldorf wearing their adult onesies to school?

Co-worker (deadpan):  No... that must have happened at the lesser Waldorf.  Totally sounds like a Sun Ridge thing...

My sister and I were texting about the (nineties) song "Lightning Crashes."
Candra:  "YES. Totally know that video.  It's really rich with symbolism and cats!!  lol
And bald headed angels.
Not to be confused with bald headed eagles, as either could be a spirit guide."

A woman I don't know well told me I reveal a lot of personal things in my blog.
Trying to sound undefensive,  I say, "Really?  Like what?"
"That you shop a lot at Whole Foods and Community Market.  That you like to hike and you spend time with your niece."
Rather benign, I think to myself.  I'm relieved as I thought I was going to be called out on my Rebbl drink addiction.

I heard this at least three times in the past few days:  "There's a whole lot of retrograde going on right now."  (If you don't know what this is in reference to, just ask someone you are standing by at the grocery store or post office and chances are they will know something about it.)


License plates:
OCEAN HI
BORDAUX
GRP VYN
DRV NICER
FYI FYI






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Massage Reiki, CPA

An owner of a small shop in Sebastopol confided to me, "I really want to support local artists.  But some people come in and show me what is basically their art therapy for them.  And I'm like, 'I'm sure this was very meaningful for you... but nobody is going to buy this.'"

A friend of a friend who is a bodyworker was waiting on a corner for someone and glanced across the street.  She thought a sign read "Massage and Reiki" but when she crossed to meet her friend she realized it said "Mackey and Richards."  "Boy was that a Sebastopol moment if there ever was one!" she told me.  "I was thinking it was just another massage sign and it was accountants or something."

"Your psyche knew you were supposed to do something spiritual that week, so it didn't let you sign up for the retreat you thought you wanted to go to."

Going to a BBQ I felt the need to explain that the healthy-ish brownies I made were organic chocolate and gluten-free, but that was all. 
A woman took them, giving me a knowing look.  "Are these 'special' healthy brownies?"
"No," I tried to emphasize.  "Organic, gluten-free and no dairy.  But not special.  Very ordinary.  I don't even think you'll get a sugar high."

Overheard at Harmony Farms by Ginny:
A couple was finishing their purchase of plants, and the clerk asked them if there was anything else he could help them with.  "Yes," said the woman.  "Could you tell us what our purpose in life is?" 
"I wish I could," came the reply, "but we don't have the answer here."

In front of Slice of Life:  "Who invented new age?  I mean, where did it start?  And how?"

I was talking to my neighbor/mishpucha Michael, also known as Venus in Aries (or VIA).  We were talking about astrology, Taurean qualities and recent parties among other things.  Some conversation gems:
"Well you are a Taurus, so obviously you will have a good time tonight."
"What were they thinking throwing a polyamory party during Venus in retrograde?  Of course it didn't go well - that is just asking for it."
VIA went to his box of magical objects to pick out a gift for the birthday party he was heading to (which had many cool items in it).  He picked up three crystal stones and he was deciding which one to take.  As a joke I said, "Why don't you hold them in front of the salt lamp and see which one levitates?"
So he walked over to a lamp to do this, and his girlfriend said, "No, that's the citrine lamp.  Cami was talking about the salt lamp."
Sometimes in Sebastopol one has to specify which softly glowing orange lamp you are referring to.


License plates:
RETRO VW
LLLIGHT
LGHT SPK
BEALWYS

Sol purpose

Overheard at Many Rivers bookstore:  "From a chakra perspective..."

I was making a meal for someone.  I asked if he could have gluten. 
Yes. 
I asked if he eats dairy. 
Yes. 
Was it okay for me to use almond or coconut milk? 
I got a bit of a strange look.  He nodded.
I asked if he was okay with a natural sweetener. 
I got an even stranger look.  Now he was just staring at me.
Me:  "Okay, I'm sorry.  I've been living in Sebastopol for a while!  I forget not everybody cares about these things!"

Shopping in Sebastopol When You Are Not From Sebastopol (the sequel)
"I don't recognize anything in the drink section!  I wouldn't feel comfortable drinking anything in the drink case here.  I don't even understand what the name of these drinks are!!"

At Community Market: 
"How does it feel to be surrounded by three guys with beards?"
"I support male bonding.  Especially when all the men are bearded."

An acquaintance told me her neighbor had left her job and was musing one morning, "I don't know what my purpose is.  Maybe to invent a new kombucha flavor?"

Me:  "... she is very Sebastopol."
My coworker, laughing:  "I have never heard Sebastopol used as an adjective!  I've used west county as an adjective, as in 'he is too west county for me to go out with'..."

First World Problems
Local complaint:  "I was not ready for the [two hour] spa treatments when the massage therapist knocked on the door.  Next time could they wait one minute longer before knocking?"

Texts of the week:
From my co-worker:  "I think we could test theories about hipster beards at Renegade Coffee in Sebasty."
A text my sister received:  "I'm in Sebastopol hell!!  None of the Ben and Jerry's have dairy in them!!!"


License plates:
BACON
SOLCRAFT
SOL RISE
CAFIEND * 



* (good one)






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Tell me your thoughts on fracking

On my way into Starbucks a guy walking across the parking lot wearing a jester hat and a large golden ankk around his neck flips his dreds and says, "Morning, yo..."  Somehow the two words are condensed into one syllable.
#morninghi(gh)

"You really don't like kombucha?"
"No, it tastes like flavored beer.  Mixed with dirt."

Posted to my page:
"I have to share my experience at Friendly Joe's on the Sebastopol Plaza this morning with you! The next woman in line, after I got my delicious locally roasted coffee drink, brought her own mug (as I did also of course!) but it was already full - the barista turned to her coworker and said, 'she brought her own sheep milk, we can use this, right?'!  I thought to myself only in Sebastopol..."

I ran into someone who lives elsewhere in the county.  Within four minutes of conversation he had talked about a yoga workshop, restorative yoga, vinyasa flow and a meditation CD. 
Me:  "How is it you don't live in Sebastopol?"

Shopping at Community Market When You Are Not From Here
"There are no normal drinks here!  I think that there is no Coke or soft drinks in all of Sebastopol."

Putting away props after yoga, the woman next to me says, "How are you moving so fast?  I just want to sit here."
"I'm moving quickly because I'm trying to get to Whole Foods before it closes.  You should take your time!"
She looks at me solemnly.  "Don't let Whole Foods kill your yoga buzz."

Bumper sticker:
KEEP CALM AND GET IN THE VORTEX

Rental interviews in West County ...
So, you looking to put down roots for awhile?  We're a pretty mellow household, wanting the same in a renter along with some stability.  Do you wear perfume?  Do you cook beef?  Do you use only organic cleaning products?  Tell me your thoughts on fracking.  Are you willing to wear a pussy hat to stay warm because we don't use the heater on account of fracking, naturally.  How do you feel about kombucha enemas?  Would you be open to communal kombucha enemas as a way to solidify our connection as co-creators in housing?  Oh, by the way, think you can not be here most of the time?  That would be great...
(status update of the week, by Shannon)


License plates:
WEST CO
INTUITED
DHARMA
DBL HAPI