"And then she asked, 'Do you have Prius blue?' But the funny thing was I knew exactly what she meant by that!"
"Is there any soda here? Or just kombucha?"
I attended a new yoga class. One participant told me she liked this particular studio, it wasn't like one she had previously tried out. "I didn't have a mat and went to get one from the pile. They were all looking at me, like 'What kind of person doesn't own their own yoga mat?'"
At Milk and Honey: "If you're going to hire someone, they should have at least one planet in Virgo."
"This is a tantric household. There's got to be scented candles around here somewhere."
On the way into Community Market, a dude exiting shouting to someone: "Patchouli! Patchouli! Don't forget the patchouli!"
"We are parked next to the truck with the giant crystal in the back."
"She thought I was a Scorpio. I was trying not to be offended. I'm like, I'm a quiet Cancer, what on earth makes you think I'm a Scorpio?!"
I recently purchased a car. My young niece and I were chatting about library books and second grade recess activities. Then she looks at me seriously. "Is your new car a hybrid?"
Chatting with a classroom assistant, we talk about things she has heard on the playground over the years:
- That's not fresh turmeric.
- Paint from your heart opening.
- I'm not allowed to have Disney toys. I'm not allowed to even say the word Disney.
- There aren't any spelt English muffins here?
- We only buy clothes at Tribal Fest.
License plates;
TAP WINE
WILD BRO
SNMA LVN
WOLF LVR
