Pricey coconut milk

"I had family over for a Christmas party and hired a massage therapist from Calistoga to come do massage.  She arrived without her bag and asked where she could go in town to buy some massage oil.  I started to suggest a few places, when my sister-in-law piped up, 'Oh, believe me.  There is no shortage of massage oil in Sebastopol!  You could probably buy it from somebody on the street!'"

A shopper at the Barlow telling me:  "Hung out at my friend's house the day after Christmas.  Their seven year old showing me and also naming all the different kinds of crystals there are."

I am playing kids Twister with my niece. I remark, "You are really good at this!"
"Well, yeah.  It's kind of like doing yoga."

At a local coffeehouse a woman whispers, "That's not a cheap drink!"
"Yes," her friend informs her.  "Being vegan is expensive."

"There is a party going on, and it's ended up being more men than women.  I'm a little worried - I don't want it to turn into an extra-testosterone evening."
"The men coming are pretty in touch with their female side.  I doubt it'll be an issue."

Outside of Copperfield's:  "We cannot just get a crystal.  It has to be fluorite.  She made that very clear."

A New Year's eve text:  "I'm at Whole Foods.  Not too many others around.  Just me and the ecstatic dancers."

"There is a group of us getting together to manifest good energy/intentions for the new year, reflect on our path and what we want to release for 2017.  Bring together good energy and ring in good intentions for 2018!"
"I can't think of anything I'd like to do less than that."

T-shirt of the week:
Conscious Cannabis


Local license plates:
ONE SKY
SCAMPR
STR G8
AB DIVN






Shout out to Jaiyen Spa.  Wonderful Thai massage and reflexology. 
http://www.jaiyenspa.com/

Gravenstein ghetto

While in line at Whole Foods, a boy to his mother:
"Can we get candy canes?"
"Absolutely no candy canes."
"But mom, they're organic."

My sister replying to my complaint of a local restaurant that had raised its prices, again.  "I'm surprised some hipster restaurant hasn't added lemon or cucumber to water and started charging extra for water!"

More Sebastotexts:

  >All these shoppers! I can't find f-ing parking, not even for yoga!!

  >That sign is so tacky!!  Gravenstein doesn't need help to look more ghetto!

  >There are some good options today at the hot bar but I don't think you've heard of most of them.

  >You should be able to find us.  Just look for the people in yoga attire doing tai chi by the parking lot.

  >I forgot and put some sour cream in it. Added lots of spices to throw off the taste. 
  >Marge is not going to be happy about that.
  >Dessert got a little dairy in it.  So sue me.

A woman I took a class with emailed me.  "When I first moved here I'd never heard of quinoa.  I saw it at the deli and at a school pot luck for mothers and had no idea what it was.  Then someone made a grain dish with wheat berries and something called amaranth, I thought I'd landed on another planet.  Folks sprinkled things on top of pizza like pumpkin seeds and talked about papaya tablets to help digestion.  There was some culture shock.  Ten years later I go to a Thanksgiving pot luck, all vegetarian and mostly vegan.  I bring quinoa and bean salad with seaweed shavings on top I made while sipping Revive.  Yes I've lived here for a while.  West county changes you."

As I was paying for something at Community Market, a gentleman behind me informed the cashier,
"Yes, I'm back.  To get salad for dessert.  Way too healthy... don't tell my wife."

"They'll believe me.  They'll say, 'He teaches yoga - he wouldn't lie about anything.'"

A few years ago on Christmas Eve as I was walking up to Whole Body a woman exited, cheerily calling out, "Merry whatever!" 
Holiday wishes west county-style.


License plates:
TRUE SKY
SHARXX
MERIT
SNP DRGN







www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Rebbl with a cause

At a pot luck dinner:  "Paleo/vegan/wheat-free diets!  I can't keep track of all of them!"

"I accidentally ended up at the tree lighting ceremony.  But I was really trying to go to yoga."

"I don't know how I managed to pull this off... but I'm dressed like a conservative hippie."

A Facebook lamentation about being outside of Sonoma County on a trip: 
"I miss my lemon-scented candles.  I miss organic salads.  And tasty produce and non-chemical soap and talking to people about good enzymes.  I know I sound like a Whole Foods commercial right now."

I was complaining to a friend over dinner about a waiter at a local restaurant.  She replied, "Was he the Sebastopol type who stares at you blankly and doesn't really listen or take your order, and then goes off and doesn't come back for a long time?"

On a trail I was behind two women discussing local dancing.  One was explaining the difference between ecstatic dance, Sweat Your Prayers and Soul Motion.  And the different ecstatic dance tribes and what to expect at each.  I didn't hear which group she was referring to, but at one point she cautioned, "And you don't want to end up there.  A bunch of old people jumping around."

"Sebastopol:  where someone will complain about how much popcorn costs but pay $9 for a loaf of bread."

In honor of holiday shopping, vintage blog moment:
At a crystal store the owner showed me some jewelry pieces.  One had seven colors, each corresponding to a chakra.  As she was explaining it to me, I asked what she said to people who don't know about chakras.  "Well, if they are gay then I say, 'Gay pride!'  If they aren't gay and don't know what chakras are, then I just say, 'Look, it's a pretty rainbow.'"

Bumper sticker of the week:
Back off,
I'm a goddess!

License plates:
1 LUUV
FLY GRL
PIXI DST
JST FAB
WISDOM





Shout out to Rebbl who is donating 25 cents per drink sold in northern California through mid-December toward assistance to fire victims.  (Always nice when my addiction can also help others.)
http://rebbl.co/

BYOK

At a small shop in the Barlow:
"Check out this very hippie version of Adam and Eve."

Chatting at Community Market, I hear about a dinner group in a small neighborhood.  The woman explains to me, "After doing dinners together twice a month for a while we realized there were three very different types of meals.  We had the hometown grill families.  We had the hummus and veggie plate families.  And then the extreme vegan meals that are usually wheat- and sugar free too.  You know, where you're still hungry after.  We had to design a system depending on who was hosting."  She showed me a group email:
D = desserts will have sugar
M = if you want meat/poultry you have to provide your own
V = if you want vegetarian option, have to provide your own
VP [veggie protein] = protein will be nuts, tahini, tempeh, etc.
NS = do not give children anything with sugar
W = wine only, any fancy health drinks like Kombucha... BYO

At the end of a friend's text:
"We meet every third Wed.  And by meet I mean everyone is so cheap & won't pitch in ten bucks a month, so we meet at Community Market.  Because, ya know, it's Sebastopol."

On top of spaghetti
all covered with ghee
I lost my poor tofu
when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table
and onto the floor
And then my poor tofu
rolled out the front door.

Somewhere in downtown: 
"I don't need an excuse to go shopping.  I could do it everyday."
"The only thing that will get me shopping is having yoga pants with so many holes I can't wear them any more."

I was tagged in a post by a woman who did a week-long retreat somewhere in the hills of west county:
"Such a lovely vacation.  Really delicious food.  Although it would have been nice to have an option of doing something without it being consciousness-raising or healing or meaningfully life-changing.  Is it ok to do a walk on the property without having to meditate?  Even in town, talking to a cashier about carrots that led to veganism saving the world."

A Sunday school teacher sent me the following:  "We are talking at the end of class about good and evil... kids saying who is good and who is bad.  Evildoers are robbers, thieves, murderers.  I practically fell off the chair laughing when a boy says very seriously, 'The person who built the new CVS.'"


License plates:
JEDI MOM
JOY XX
OH ROCKS
NVR NRML
USED EWE






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Goddess selection

You know you are in west county when someone describes the glow of the fires as orange "like a Himalayan salt lamp."

A friend lives in an area which had a voluntary evacuation and she left for nearly a week with her son.  On the way to Sebastopol she was telling him about the family they were going to stay with.  He was quiet and finally she asked what was bothering him, wondering if he was worried about their house or how long he would be out of school.
"If it's the family I think it is, they aren't going to let us eat any McDonald's or junk food, are they?"

A co-worker, stressed about talking to some people on the phone:  "Ahhhh, these people are going to make me inhale eucalyptus oil!"

As I was leaving Whole Foods, a mom siting on a bench telling her son:  "I really don't appreciate having tempeh thrown at me."

On a thread for mothers:  "My daughter wants to be a YOGA MUMMY for Halloween.  I have no idea why.  Suggestions??"

Code phrase for purchasing alcohol in Sebastopol:  I need to make tinctures.

Two women on a bench at the Farmers Market.  They are conversing about the music.  One remarks, "There must be a schedule of it somewhere."
"I don't know.  That might be way too organized for Sebastopol."

My young niece and I were looking for a parking space on a crowded weekend morning.  I tell her, "We need to ask the parking goddess to help us!  Who should we ask?"  Having spent the first four years of her life at Milk & Honey she is no stranger to the goddess.  She chose Lakshmi.  So we implore her to help us find parking.  After another five minutes of driving around, I slow down thinking someone is leaving but it turns out they were not. 
"Well, this isn't working!" I observe absently.
She says matter-of-factly, "Um, why don't we try Kwan Yin?"
(Right after her suggestion a space opens up.)


License plates:
BB OTTR
OM JJ MA
UNDADOG
ZINALOT



~Slice of Life is offering free meals to evacuees and those affected by the fire~

If you are an evacuee or a first responder please come in for a free meal or you can pay whatever you are able to. We put two thousand dollars on a gift card for those affected. The gift card is at the register for anyone to use no questions asked. If you want to donate you can add money to the gift card. If your not in the area and you want to donate meals/add money to the card over the phone please call between 11-12 or 3-5 to do so. Our community is in our hearts. 💜 -Keith & Chloe

https://www.thesliceoflife.com/

Many thanks to the firefighters, first responders, shelter volunteers and all those who donated time, money or services to help those affected by and fighting the fires!   

Spiritual transport

You've lived in Sebastopol for a long time when you receive a text from someone in an ambulance, and you believe you read they are "in an abundance..."  I was thinking, an abundance of what?

A comment on Sebastoblog's sister column (about consciousness):
Don't forget my personal favorite "Conscious Roommate Wanted."  I can never decide whether that sets the bar too high, or too low!

In Whole Foods:  "We can't bring her pop tarts made with acai berries.  She's never going to go for that!"

Facebook status updates: 
"You know how you know you live in Sebastopol?  Wherever you go it smells like pot and patchouli oil."
"Chillin' on my bench downtown watchin' this old hippie try to light his joint with a magnifying glass.  Only in Sebastopol..."
(Apparently he was successful.)

A text to a local after her brother-in-law visited:  "Land of the hipsters, wine tasters and last stand of the old school hippies."

A friend, having tried to do a voice group text, glanced down frustrated at the mangled names of her co-workers.  "Goddamn Sebastopol and all of these hippie names!"

My co-worker (decidedly un-west county) informed everyone he had reached "a new low" by driving through Sebastopol in a Prius.

"I cannot do math, I just got out of yoga."
"I can't really do math any time."
"I'm fine with math, except right after yoga.  I also can't handle listening to NPR."

I was chatting with a woman while waiting outside a class for my niece.  The conversation turned to local preschools and kindergarten.  She noted at one point, "It's like it becomes a political statement. 'We are Waldorf.  We are not Waldorf.'  Do we really have to figure all that out by the age of three?!"


License plates:
INSPYR U
DUK DWN
RD HAWK
AGL WINGS






www.facebook.com/sebastoblog/

Mere recycling

At Community Market:
"If I hear one more time that Mercury is in retrograde!  I don't want to know.  Tell me when it's OUT of retrograde!"

On Facebook:
"Conscious Ink Manifestation Tattoos feature empowering messages & imagery designed to support you in manifesting your deepest desires!"

A therapist told me about a west county couple who came to see her when she was an intern.  Often the issues between partners are about money or housework or childcare, but this couple caught her off guard when the husband complained, "She just meditates too much.  It's one of the reasons we're here.  It's really become a problem."

"One thing I've learned living here, hippies are not Buddhists.  They have a lot in common but when it comes to bugs and flies, they'll leave their doors open all day and don't care that there are dead flies all over the kitchen.  I tried to explain to [my neighbor] that maybe you shouldn't do something that will end up killing a lot of flies, and he just stared at me, like 'what are you talking about?'  But they don't like it if you bring carrots to a pot luck that aren't organic."

On looking for housing:  "How far does the line go?  You shouldn't be discriminated against for race, religion, etc.  But in Sebastopol you could be discriminated against astrologically.  You could not get housing because you're not the right sign.  'Sorry, can't rent to an Aries.'"

According to a woman I ran into who I knew years ago, it is annoying to have a guy mansplain to you.  However, it is even more annoying to have a guy holy-mansplain.  It's a double whammy, the sexist patronizing coupled with the condescending, "I'm more evolved than thou and therefore must explain to you why you have not evolved as far as I have because you are merely recycling instead of using your own container.  And did I mention how spiritual I am?"

The day after the eclipse I was in a downtown store where a few people were sharing eclipse stories.  A cashier remarked, "Well, it's Sebastopol so it brought a lot of crazies out."
"I don't think you need an eclipse to bring out the crazies around here."


License plates:
WHRLWND
H2O GOD
I GOT THS
MSDMNR

Shout out to Golden Gear Automotive (next to the post office).  Reasonable and good customer service.
https://www.yelp.com/biz/golden-gear-automotive-sebastopol