If you're going to be a ninja...

Friend of a friend, on the side of a large group talking.  "There was a lot of pumpkin carving at our place this week.  I had to meditate on it for a while, but a snake theme came to me."  Scrolling through pictures of jack-o-lanterns on her phone.  "My son said it wasn't scary enough, so I ended up having to make it into a rattlesnake."

Young tweener sitting outside Whole Foods to his mom:  "I decided I want to be a ninja this year. But a ninja that uses their powers for good."
Mother:  "Like for what?"
Boy, after a thoughtful pause:  "Like for the environment or something."

A local practitioner was describing her Athenian goddess costume to a friend of hers.  "I am going as a priestess of light."
Her friend observed, "Oh, you are going as your aura in the 12th dimension."
"Yes, exactly!"

A co-worker told me she overheard a conversation about conspiracy theories in front of Hardcore Cafe.  One gentleman said, "Just say it really fast and you will get it: Ebola...Obama...  Ebola...Obama..."

Explaining something to a friend of mine, who lives in Sebastopol.  "All right, well there are two types of moms in Sebastopol, the soccer moms and the yoga pants moms-"
My friend, laughing, "Okay, that should go in your blog."

At a local school, on a board with some photos from movies is a picture of Glinda the Good Witch (from The Wizard of Oz).  On a post-it under the picture it reads:  "Glinda is from Sebastopol."


And for those who did not catch this post a year ago, several people have told me it is their "favorite Sebastoblog":
Halloween with a Sebastopol twist
http://sebastopolgal.blogspot.com/2013_10_01_archive.html

Foragers, joyagers

One dude standing between Slice of Life and Whole Foods to another dude:  "Don't go foraging for food around here.  You are just going to come back with sprouted nuts and kale."

Someone who read my blog entry a while back about customers getting confused with the recycling/compost/trash bins at Whole Foods emailed to let me know that there is a new wood structure that holds all three bins in front of the store now, but none of them are marked.  "It is hilarious to watch people walk up and just stand there and stare at unmarked bins.  I noticed a few people just walk away with whatever they had, or just put things on the ground.  One woman put some trash in her purse rather than put it in the wrong container."

Mother to her son in a cart at Whole Foods on a Sunday (during Farmer's Market):
"Oh come on, now.  We are just going to go across the street.  It will be fun.  We can count how many men with dreads we see."

Milk and Honey customer, picking up a bumper sticker that read What would Kali do?  "She would poke your eyes out and lick your brains, that is probably what she would do," he informed me.
A few moments later, a female customer eyeing the bumper sticker asked, "Who the hell is Kali?"

A friend and I were in the walkway between the library parking lot and Main Street, and she pointed to "Planetary healing through cookies" (under the Sebastopol Cookie Company window).  She remarked, "Why does everything in Sebastopol have to be about global healing?  Even cookies!"

At a small store on Main Street:
Cashier, after trying to ring something up several times:  "I don't know why this isn't working."
Customer:  "Maybe we should not have been making fun of the eclipse."
Person in line behind them:  "That will do it."


I have been asked by more than one person if I am making these license plates up.  The answer is no, although I noticed them very peripherally before starting this blog.  This week they have been popping up all over the place:
JOYAGER
CRAC POT
LITEN UP
MINDFUL




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Retro and retrogrades

You know you've lived in Sebastopol a long time when you can listen to a conversation that ties together laundry and karma and you are not fazed by this.

A shopper at Milk and Honey to her fellow shopper:  "Well, she's not the hippie-clothes, yoga pants type.  And she doesn't like the retro look, either.  I'm not sure we can find anything on Main Street for her."
Fellow shopper:  "Does Rite-Aid carry clothes?"
"I'm not sure, but that may be our only hope."

Facebook remark from my sister, in a commentary about yerba mate:
"Imagining my life without EmpowerMint (which, by the way has 'evolved' because it's new name is 'EnlightenMint') ..."

My sister has also devised a new game in the neighborhood near downtown where she resides, How many Buddha statues can one count on an evening walk?  (One evening she counted seven.)

In line at Community Market:
"Is Mercury in retrograde?  How do you find that out?"
"You can look it up on the internet.  Although I usually find out about it standing in line here or at Whole Foods."

A woman was complaining about her infrared sauna not working.  She was quite emotional and went on about it, this being an overwhelming problem in her life.  After she left, an acquaintance of mine noted:  "Well, there are third world problems, and first world problems.  And then there are Sebastopol problems."


License plate of the week:
AMTHYST


"Mercury Retrograde Body Mitten"
And if you missed this circulating during the last mercury in retrograde, it is hilarious!  (I am especially fond of the unicorn hair marinated in lavender oil.)
http://sextile.com/2014/06/13/mercury-retrograde-body-mitten/

Fries and fixes

I was standing behind the counter at Milk and Honey and a woman was waiting to purchase something.  She asked how my weekend was so far, so I felt obligated to ask how hers was going. She replied, "I"m having a pleasant day.  Getting my Sebastopol fix."
Going from polite conversationalist to Trolling Blogger, I of course had to ask what she meant by that.
The woman lives in Sonoma.  "I only get over here a few times a year, but I love it.  So far today I've been handed a flier about soul painting, listened to a discourse about the health benefits of maca by a young couple and discovered a new store named Karma.  Where else would you find a clothing store named Karma?"
(Unfortunately she did not still have the flier.)
"Oh, yes," she added.  "And I drove past a lavender-colored RV on the way into town.  With mandala blankets hanging in the windows."

According to a teen I was talking to outside of Rite-Aid:
"There are two kinds of students at Analy.  Those who walk to Safeway for lunch - most of them.  And those who walk all the way to Whole Foods."
(And during the school year, having been in Safeway, I can say there is a subset who never make it further than the Starbucks counter.)

A friend of mine from her visiting friend:
"This morning driving through downtown I couldn't help but notice how many people were walking with yoga mats under their arms.  How many yoga studios are there in this town??"

Favorite text to me, from a friend at Community Market last Thursday evening (during the weekly street fair):  "Leaving now.  I think we may have seen the zen hula hooper."

A woman seated outside Slice of Life:
"Baked french fries?  Who wants baked fries?  What is the fun in that?"  She puts her menu down. "If I wanted something healthy, um, I'd order lentil soup."


License plate of the week:
BAT LVR
(And there was a bumper sticker of bats soaring in front of the moon, just in case one wonders if this car belonged to a baseball enthusiast.)




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Coexistence and covens

I was standing outside Attico with a friend who was waiting for some people.  As they walked up she told them, "Be careful what you say to her.  She does a blog about Sebastopol."  Which, of course, always puts everyone at ease.
A person in the group said he had a question for me, as a Sebastopol "expert" (his description, not mine).  "Where do all these 'Coexist' bumper stickers come from?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest."
A woman standing next to him said, "We went to several places looking on Main Street, and nobody had them.  And no one knew where we could get one."
First guy:  "Whoever sells them must be making a fortune.  Every other car that drives by around here has one."
A man standing behind me added, "And it is kind of ironic to see all these Coexist bumper stickers in one of the most homogeneous towns I've ever lived.  But I guess that's beside the point."

I have been in a women's group for eleven years.  One member recently moved into a new place and we did a house blessing for her.  Since we have done it so many times over the years, we decided we have become quite good at doing them.  One member said, "We could make money off of this.  'Rent-a-Coven.'"
We came up with several advertising phrases:
Need some lovin'?  Rent-a-coven.
Want some sage and drummin'?  Rent-a-coven.
Ghosts in your oven?  Rent-a-coven.

A funny comment was made to me about an emoji for a spiritual name and I was telling a friend about it.  She said, "I can top that."  She pulled out her phone and showed me an emoji her sister uses when she is texting/talking about her spirit animal.  (It was a very cute emoji, actually.)

A customer at Whole Foods:  "I don't know if I should buy a raffle ticket today.  I'm not wearing my lucky green crystal."


License plate of the week:
ACUPUNK
(this might be my favorite one so far)




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West county morsels

An acquaintance to me at Community Market, browsing for a small gift for her neighbor:
"I can't decide between the chakra flags or the chakra candles.  Or the incense holder.  Wow, am I shopping in Sebastopol or what?"
Me:  "Well, don't forget the rainbow Oms bumper sticker."

This sign was at a farmer's market (although I don't know if it was local or not):
NO Wi-fi
Talk to each other!
Call your Mom!
Pretend it's 1993!

I was recently at a weekend workshop and a fellow attendee was talking about her sister's upcoming wedding.  She described it as a "vegan hipster dog-friendly" event.  (But children were not allowed.)  I asked her where her sister was getting married as this woman was from the bay area. She replied, "In Sebastopol."  (cue my surprise)

A woman looking at some herbal blends at Rosemary's Garden to someone beside her:  "Around here you don't call it the first day of fall.  You call it 'equinox.'  Or 'autumnal equinox' if you want to get specific."
"Yes, because in September someone might mix it up with spring equinox."

Some young teens talking outside the library:
"Last time I got in trouble I couldn't watch tv for a week."
"I lose my phone and my parents won't let me use the computer."
"I lose my phone, too."
"My parents make me do yoga."
"Really?"
"Or listen to some chanting CDs.  Until they think I chill enough."


Favorite t-shirt at the farmer's market:
"Spiritual Gangster"
(I'm not claiming I know what this means, but I liked the shirt and the cool gentleman dude wearing it)


Favorite license plate:
BODEG-AH

Sebastoposts

(Facebook post:) 
"Ok Sebastopol~ I know a lot has changed since I've been down and out, but how could ANYONE not have told me the new Community Market in Sebastopol is open until 10PM EVERY DAY?!?! This is epic. This is life changing. I no longer have to go to Old Main and ask if they serve almond milk."
(For non-locals, Old Main is a downtown bar.)

A friend sent this to me.  It was posted in her parents group:
My husband and I are looking to rent out a studio on our property that we recently fixed up.  Off 116 in northwest Sebastopol....
Small kitchen and garden space.  Non-smokers only.  Pretty views of orchards, quiet space, okay to use our kitchen when we are gone on the weekends.  We interviewed some people last week and would like to save some time by letting potential applicants know the following:
-If your income is sporadic, that probably isn't something that you should mention in the first 5 minutes.
-You can use our kitchen when we are gone and yes, you will find bacon and red meat and other junk foods in our kitchen.  And yes, we feed our kids sugar.
-My husband and I are monogamous.  Period.
-While we do not care personally if you smoke marijuana, please don't come to the interview reeking of it.  And you can not use the large walk-in closet for any illegal activity.

Regarding Sebastoblog:  "Sebastopol, where all roads lead to Whole Foods."
And from the same reader:  "Your latest update from Sebastopol.  My spirit guide gives this place three and a half stars." 

Man to fellow customer at Community Market:  "I see you're part of the migration over here from Whole Foods."

Young girl at the library to her dad:  "I don't want a boring book like that.  I want to get the book about organic composting."

Whole Foods worker, at the barbeque in front:  "I like doing this.  People are really nice to me, I have some fans.  Every now and then some vegans walk by and yell at me, but that's okay."


Favorite license plate:
OM FREELY




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